It is scary to think that someone you love could hurt you, but it happens often all over the globe. Approximately one in every three women and one in every four men in the world are abused by someone they love at some point in their life. In the United States, it happens to a woman every nine seconds. And it affects more than just the victim. The families of the victims of domestic violence are also victims and can suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other mental health issues because they witnessed it.
The Domestic Violence Cycle
Growing up in a household with violence or another form of abuse can cause mental health problems for everyone in the family. Children who witness their loved ones being abused are more susceptible to having unhealthy relationships when they get older. Many women who live in a household where their mother is abused end up with a man who abuses them in some way. And boys tend to grow up to become abusive if they see their father abusing their mother. This does not happen because they are bad or violent themselves. It is just because that is what they grew up with and they think it is normal.
Domestic Violence Counseling Can Help
That is why domestic violence counseling is beneficial for more than just the one who is abused. The entire family can benefit from counseling, including the abuser. Although the studies show that some abusers do not change for the better, and only go to counseling if forced to do so, there are those who can change. In fact, many want help but do not know how or where to get it. Counseling is not just something to ‘get through’ to satisfy a judge or a loved one. It can be helpful in all aspects of your life from your home life to your relationships with coworkers and others.
Get Some Help
If you are a victim of abuse, whether you are a man or a woman, it is essential that you get some kind of counseling to help deal with your feelings. You may be able to find out how and why you ended up in an abusive relationship in the first place. There may be underlying factors that you did not even realize were there. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family situation where there was a lot of fighting or anger, this can make you more apt to end up in an unhealthy relationship yourself. Counseling can help you figure out what is going on and how to help you work it out.
Recognizing the Signs
Domestic violence counseling can also help you recognize the warning signs of abuse. For example, there may have been warning signs early on in your relationship that could have raised a red flag in order to end the relationship before it went too far. You may have noticed that he was subtly controlling you by coercing you into ignoring your friends and family to spend time with him. Maybe he would grab your arm or push you when mad but then apologize later or laugh it off, saying it was nothing. These things usually give you a funny feeling that this may not be a good situation to get into. You have to learn how to listen to these feelings.
It Is Not Just Men
Women can be abusive as well. It is not always the man who is the abuser. Even though it is more commonly a man, one in 25 men have been injured by a female partner. Although the number is probably a lot higher than that. Many men do not report it because they are too embarrassed. Women are usually more apt to use verbal or emotional abuse with their partners, whether they are men or women. However, there are quite a few women who are physically abusive. Many times, when the victim is a man, they do not want to strike back because they have been taught not to hit women, which is good. However, there is no reason to just stay and take it.
It is Dangerous and Illegal
In any case of domestic abuse, whether you are the victim or the abuser, this type of situation is not only dangerous, it is illegal. Hurting someone else, whether they are a stranger or a loved one, is against the law. And although therapy can help, it is also important to get away from each other until things get better. In some cases, your relationship can be saved through counseling and a lot of hard work. Other times, it is just better to cut your losses and start over. This may be difficult if you have children together, but it is important for the children as well. If you are the victim, the kids do not need to see that abuse going on, and if you get back together with your abuser, this gives them the idea that it is okay to be abusive. That is why counseling and therapy for everyone is the best idea. Talk to someone today. You can do it online, no appointment needed.
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