There’s a guy who created a dating profile for his girlfriend. Isn’t he the best?
He wanted to ensure his partner could have someone else to love when he broke up with her. That’s a different level of caring about your partner’s feelings after a breakup.
Games happen not only on dating apps. They occur in relationships, too.
People have checked out. But they’re not cheating. Instead, they stick around waiting for the perfect time to break up with you or until they find someone else to love.
Let us discuss this new dating trend.
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Let’s define it.
Okay, so. The dating world hasn’t named this behavior yet.
Human resource managers use the term, and it works in love relationships. The phrase is “quiet quitting.”.
The original definition
“It is when workers do the bare minimum to complete their tasks. They leave the office bang on time and mute notifications or emails after hours.” — The Week.
Its application to behavior in the dating world
It’s when the person does only enough to make you feel at peace in the relationship.
Meanwhile, they are plotting to leave you. Your partner likes you. But the spark has faded to light friendship.
- They prefer routine over spontaneous plans.
- Or they rather listen to some sentences, not everything you have to say.
Bare minimum-ing your lover is offering them only the minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. It’s sharing the least part of yourself with someone, just to keep them connected. — Harness Magazine
Photo by Hayden Hatch on Unsplash
Behaviors of a partner who “quietly quit” your relationship
#1. Your relationship is plain
Your partner won’t bring home an unexpected treat. Nor will they do anything out of the norm. They won’t even mind scheduling sex.
They don’t care about excitement. Your partner will pretend to be a homebody and being happy with the union.
Special occasions days, like birthdays are the only things they’ll fuss over.
You might not even see it as anything different. You could welcome the slow pace of the relationship as being comfortable with each other.
Everything is only the two of you. And about staying indoors together.
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#2. The emotional investments dry up
You don’t meet up with your partner’s friends and family anymore. It’s a sudden change explained away by scheduling issues or your conflict with their mom.
They don’t want to create fresh memories. And will decline even “only for me” photos. They don’t wish for you to have any more memorabilia of them.
You may even notice them organizing their belongings. Or they ask about hoodies you borrowed from forever ago.
“Why the rush?” Every life-changing decision gets meant with this accusing question. They don’t see a future with you. So, all planning appears as going too fast with the partnership.
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#3. They expect sex and nothing else.
They want bedroom time because they are not cheating and still have love plus respect for you.
But your partner doesn’t want to experience you in any other way.
If you offer help, they decline. No matter how much you stress, it won’t put you out of your way. Your other half doesn’t like introductions even more now. And if they were once jealous of your best friend or other guys in your life, they have cooled off from caring.
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#4. People ask you this one question a lot
“Where’s [insert your partner’s name here]?”
People notice the distance in your relationship way before you do. Sometimes, it is unintentional. Your friends and family are just so used to seeing the two of you together.
So, they find the separation weird. And drop hints by asking for the whereabouts of your beau.
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Thank you for reading this post.
© Annie Wegner 2022-Present.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Nate Johnston on Unsplash