Determining who is and is not a Real Man can be confusing. Thankfully, Erin Judge has a handy chart.
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Once again, the question of what real men should do and how it’s up to men to redefine manhood is all over the media. It seems odd to me that every side of every issue attempts to claim “real men” as devotees. You know what I mean. “Real men love guns” vs. “real men don’t need guns to prove they’re real men.” And so on.
Just to clear up the confusion, I’ve made this handy flow chart to help you figure out if a person is a real man.
And that’s pretty much the long and short of it.
Now, whether or not you are a real man, if the question you have is about how you should behave, try going with this: be a good person and respect your fellow humans.
It’s basic golden rule stuff, ladies and gentlemen and the rest of us.
Now let’s all human up and be folks.
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Originally appeared at so make it up
Lead photo: Darin House
If a person is an adult human male, that person is a man. That an adult human male has either 1) been bullied so much for personality traits deemed “feminine” by his culture that he has developed sex dysmorphia or 2) fetishized personality traits deemed “feminine” by his culture so much that he thinks claiming “ladybrain” makes him female, doesn’t change the definition of the word “man.” You don’t get to 1) kick other men out of the man box or 2) grant other men a get of out of male free card.
I love it!
Whenever I hear one of those “Real Men… ” quotes I tell them ” Real Men Don’t Care What You Think Real Men Do. Real Men Do What Real Men Do “
Infantile.
The point like always is being missed. We need more good PEOPLE. We tend to have set standards on what defines what title each individual deserves. Then at the same time claim to want the same folks to be original.
Sorry, doesn’t work for me. This chart lets child and spouse abusers call themselves “Real Men.”
Your chart only works for dudes, or guys. A “Real Man” behaves honorably to others. A “Real man” is a “Real man” regardless of fiction/non-fiction status, gender or sexual orientation.
I meant to say that then there would be NO thinking like a man or a woman. Sorry.
To Jonathan. Your sense of gender is not meaningless at all. Nor is the label of such. I think it’s more of an internal sense which is neurologically based with a good helping spoonful of hormones that is then environmentally enhanced by images, language, how others react to you and so on. My gut feel, and I can only guess because I am c is – gendered is that for transgendered people there is a mismatch from the get go in either wiring or the chemical bath. This is not to say defective in any fashion, just a different mix… Read more »
This is an honest question, and I’m not trying to be vexatious, but I wonder: If gender is essentially a meaningless label, and the only criteria to be a “real man” is to exist as an adult human who believes himself to be male, then what criteria does a man use to decide that he actually is one? There have to be some external, objective standards that conflict with the way a person born in a female body feels inside that prompt him to decide that he’s really a man, right? Otherwise, if the way he feels inside is just… Read more »
The “real men” ad campaigns are really saying that “real men” can’t be gay or girls….
Maybe real men should just try putting sprinkles on their lips or wear “the gay” or “act like a girl” for a bit just to try it…. Is it going to kill you or destroy your gonads?
Simple message, endlessly repeated will be the only way to get this across, Erin. Because what you say is true, and it is simple. In this culture if an idea is simple then it must be false. Anyone can tell if you are a real man. It’s really simple. Open your waistband, look down, may need a flashlight, and if there is something there from birth that weould be known as an outie then you are a real man. If nothing like that is there theme you know you’re a real woman. How hard is this? Apparently too hard to… Read more »
The whole ‘innie versus outie’ argument loses traction when you start to consider things like injuries from car accidents, or things like androgen insensitivity. Bodily characteristics are notoriously unreliable indicators of gender. By definition, the brain is the only organ whose gender is invariably ‘correct’. Your identity, your memories, your values and opinions, they all consist of abstract information stored in your brain. Visible physical characteristics of ‘gender’ can be changed through accident, surgery, or medications. Chromosomes are hardly any more reliable. Consider an androgen-insensitive woman, technically XY but whose body for all intents and purposes appearing and developing as… Read more »
According to this flow chart, Ron Swanson is not a real man. Any flow chart that deems Ron Swanson not a real man is wrong and should be forbidden.
On a note not directly related to the article’s content, REAL MEN are secure enough to wear rainbow sprinkles on their lips and noses. Me thinks this is missing from the chart [laughing]!
This photo just made me laugh out loud!!
IE – it’s up to the person himself to decide if he’s a man, not anyone else. It’s in his or her hands to identify a gender.
Between individuals that use the “real man” claim to protect their own image, the individuals the use the “real man” shame us into suiting their own desires, the companies that use the “real man” image to sell products, and the supposed social justice campaigns that use the “real man” image to shame us into buying their message. manhood is a damn minefield. I like the chart but there is one thing. In the spirit of true inclusiveness I think the “No” between “Does the person identify as male?” and “The person is not a real man.” could be removed. In… Read more »
I think the nature of that being included is to say, “If you identify as a man, than you’re a man” in order to fly in opposition of the “Wait, you weren’t born a man? Then you’re not real.”
I thought of that, I was just thinking of a more direct approach.
This line kills me. So genius:
“Now let’s all human up and be folks.”
I agree, besides folks are known to enjoy spooning more, once they step up to the plate.
‘And only one for birthday presents, you know. There’s glory for you!’ ‘I don’t know what you mean by “glory”,’ Alice said. Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. ‘Of course you don’t — till I tell you. I meant “there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!”‘ ‘But “glory” doesn’t mean “a nice knock-down argument”,’ Alice objected. ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’ ‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’ ‘The question is,’ said… Read more »