Back when I used to be on the payroll of a local church, I distinctly remember a conversation I had with the Senior Pastor — my boss at the time.
It was the time of year when nominations were open for new board members. I sat with the pastor in his office while he poured over the church directory — the list of names of everyone who attended the church — searching for people who might make good board members.
I saw the name of a woman who had a background in the legal profession. “What about her?” I asked the pastor.
“Wrong gender,” Came his curt reply.
“Okay, how about this guy? He has experience in Human Resource Management,” I offered.
“His kids are a bit loose,” replied the Pastor, “If he can’t control his kids, how can he run a church?”
“Alright, how about this guy?” I said.
“Divorced.”
And so it went on. I made a dozen more suggestions, but none of them were good enough. Some were excluded based on gender, some because of their marital status, some because they were too young, too liberal, or too outspoken. A few were excluded because their theological leanings differed from the Pastor’s, and a bunch more because the Pastor, who placed self-preservation as his highest goal, had decided that they just plain didn’t like him.
In the end, I concluded that this Pastor really only wanted men on his Board who would serve his agenda and not make waves. Of course, that might work well for the sake of achieving a certain end, but only because no one was around who might ask if that end was, in fact, the right one.
The Problem of Church Boards
What is it about Church Boards that makes them so susceptible to dysfunction? Besides the many competing agendas amongst the members of church boards (which we will discuss in a moment), there is one other main reason.
Unlike the board of a company or a charity, church boards are often occupied by well-meaning people who have a desire to pitch in. Often they are parachuted into the position by others around them telling them they should, “Give it a go.” They may or may not actually possess skills and experience in governance and organizational leadership, but they usually don’t.
In fact, Church leadership is often the first experience many church members have in leading an organization. Many of the directors are earning their living in other areas, like a trade, in office work, or in sales. Sure, they may be a team supervisor in their workplace. Still, if the church’s membership reflects the demographic of society as a whole, few members will have any experience in high-level governance. They simply don’t know how to be a good board member.
By the way, you’ll have to forgive me for subtitling this article, “The men you’ll find on church boards that suck.” It’s simply that in nearly 40 years of church involvement, I have never attended a church where a female was allowed to serve on the Church Board. In fact, it’s one of the reasons I left the church behind. I don’t know how many times I’ve thought to myself, “This board would function so much more effectively if females’ voices were being heard.”
Regardless, in the absence of adequate skills and experience, the well-meaning church member just does whatever they think a board member should do. It is very easy for a new church director to think, “Finally, it is my chance to make the church the way I want it!” This simply isn’t so. And it certainly isn’t governance!
The men who serve on dysfunctional boards
What you end up with is a bunch of men (yes, usually men) who want to push their own agenda. Broadly, these men fit into one or more of the following categories. These are men you’ll find on church boards that suck:
The Defender of the Faith
The defender of the faith sees it as his role to make sure the pastor and his preaching are orthodox enough — at least in his opinion. He is the self-appointed gatekeeper of theological correctness. He wastes everyone’s time at the board meeting by pouring over the pastor’s misuse of this or that verse in Leviticus. He is unhappy that the pastor used some wicked Biblical paraphrase in his sermon instead of referencing the traditional King James Version. He calls the pastor out for his slightly liberal leanings on anything — from the role of women in the church to him being a little too compassionate towards the LGBTIQ+ community. He runs a fine-tooth comb over every aspect of the pastor’s teaching and practices and measures it against his own version of the Bible — the old King James, of course.
The Conservator
The conservator wants to return to the church to its glory days (as if there was ever such a thing). He wants to preserve the time-honored traditions of the faith and push back hard against those progressive sorts who are trying to introduce all kinds of evil changes like allowing drums in the worship band, moving the communion table slightly to one side, shortening the sermons to 45 minutes, and replacing instant coffee with real coffee. He prefaces everything he says with the words, “Back in my day,” and bristles at the idea of changing anything. He resists everything that makes people more comfortable, explaining how this produces complacent Christians. Air-conditioning and padded pews are from the devil! Back in my, it never would have happened!
The Assassin
The assassin has a problem with the pastor and has made it their goal to get rid of him at all costs. He is on the board to make trouble, complain and call the pastor to account for every minor indiscretion he can think of. He reminds everyone that the pastor’s annual review is past due and is the first to offer to complete it. To be fair, sometimes the assassin is the most useful man on the board because he recognizes the impotence and ineffectiveness of the pastor and calls it out when everyone else is too afraid to do that because, well… nice Christians don’t do that. For that reason, the assassin is just as likely to be stabbed in the back by the pastor who is determined to preserve himself and his position even if it is not in the church’s best interests. Like two cowboys facing-off in a classic western film, usually, only one man is left standing at the end.
The “Yes Man”
The “Yes Man” is a friend of the pastor who the pastor weaseled onto the board to counter the assassin. He has nothing much to offer except that he agrees with pretty much everything the pastor says and is always glowing in his praise. And that’s exactly the point. The pastor needs a “Yes Man” or three to get his ideas across the line, and even more when his contract is up for renewal. Consequently, whenever a “Yes Man” is up for election to the Church Board, the pastor goes on a political campaign to make sure everyone knows what a great board member he would make, even if that belies the truth.
The Micromanager
The micromanager is universally hated by every staff member of the church but in a loving, Christian way where their anger is just internalized into unvocalized bitterness. The micromanager wants to get their fingerprints all over the church’s programs and activities and tell all the staff how they should be doing it better and/or differently. They step outside their governance role into operations, even when they know very little about what it really takes to run a church on the ground. They drive everyone crazy in the process.
The Reformer
The reformer comes to the board with an idea that they want to get off the ground. They want to be more charismatic, maybe. They want more prayer. Or fewer hymns. Or longer sermons. Less of this, or more of that. Either way, he comes wanting to make some kind of specific change, and he didn’t really join the board to serve the church, so much as to enact that change. His personal hobby horse is the only one he rides. And, he completely fails to see the conflict between what he personally wants from the church and his director’s duty to put the interests of the church ahead of his own.
The Prayer Warrior
The prayer warrior believes that all the problems could be solved if everyone just prayed more. Maybe there is some merit to the idea, but there is also a time to make decisions. The prayer warrior tends to drag out processes and decisions by forcing everyone to reflect and pray on everything. Sometimes this is useful, but when we are just talking about what color to paint the Sunday school classroom, I don’t think that God cares. Oh, and at midnight, when the board meeting should have ended three hours ago, the prayer warrior still insists on a time of prayer to close the meeting — and it’s rarely quick.
The Diplomat
The diplomat believes that they represent the voice of the people. They always consult with church members and compile lists of their complaints and wishes to present to the board. The Bible refers to this as the sin of gossip, but the diplomat doesn’t see it this way. He will often preface what he says by saying, “The feeling amongst the congregation is…” as if the governance of the church somehow consists of the collective will of everybody. He will also play the “feeling-amongst-the congregation” card when he wants to add weight to his own agenda.
The Blocker
The blocker is the faithless coward who just wants to protect the church from doing anything that involves risk. Of course, ‘risk’ is synonymous with faith, and usually, any kind of growth requires an element of risk. But the blocker is determined to keep the ship on an even keel without realizing that they are actually preventing the ship from even leaving the harbor. Every new idea and innovation is met with cynicism and doubt. They are great at pointing out all the problems, but bereft of better ideas because, well… they don’t have any.
The Passenger
The passenger is on the board simply because he fits the bill of what a church board member should be: He is white, heterosexual, married, older, with reasonably well-adjusted children, and he’s probably been around the church for a while. Whether or not he has any natural leadership ability or learned governance skills is immaterial. There might be a young woman in the church who would make a better board member, but in the benevolent patriarchy that is the evangelical church, she isn’t considered. The passenger, on the other hand, gets a free ride to power. When he lands on the board, he looks like a deer in headlights and rarely contributes anything of value, but he sure likes the title of “Board Member.”
The Puppet
The puppet is on the church board because his wife elbowed him in the ribs one day and said, “You should do that!” He is there to present and represent the views of his wife (and probably her circle of church friends) that are communicated to him in no uncertain terms in the days leading up to each board meeting. She ‘pulls the strings,’ and he does her bidding. Not only that, she demands the inside information on all the private dealings of the board so she can discuss it with the other ladies at the next potluck supper. Usually, the information leaks from the board meeting come from the hand of the puppet, or rather the hands that control him.
A better board
You may have just read through these descriptions and presumed that they are mere caricatures — nothing more than hyperbole to prove a point of sorts. However, let me assure you that I have worked with and served under each and every one of these kinds of board members, and the examples above are most certainly not the slightest bit exaggerated.
That is why I won’t be joining a church board again any time soon. However, I am on another governance board — one of a delightful little not-for-profit charity that I have the pleasure of working with. The board members of this organization are not picked because they are nice-ish men who have been around for a while. The men AND WOMEN who are on my board are picked because they understand the organization’s heart, and they have actual leadership skills and experience to offer. However, if there are gaps in their experience, they receive training rather than having to feel their way along in the dark.
Moreover, they are a diverse group: Men and women, young and old, who boldly declare their biases and agendas so that nothing is hidden. It’s all on the table. Conflict and disagreements are voiced freely and dealt with out in the open. And, we honor each other by keeping our discussions between us. It is a breath of fresh air!
Don’t get me wrong. There may be excellent church boards out there, the same as there may be abominable snowmen out there. Occasionally someone will claim to have seen one, we find the footprints left behind by one, but they seem so elusive that no one is certain if they actually exist.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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