The false story of fake it til you make it is one of them.
I believe that in life we are given thousands of opportunities that allow us to go from where we are to a higher level that seems to be just out of reach.
This happens throughout our education, in relationships, at work and across our personal lives. We may brush these chances off as unattainable or mark ourselves as “not ready” as a way of staying comfortable and avoiding the work. At times we ask for advice and our friends, family or coworkers may tell us we simply need to fake it til we make it. But, we need to stretch.
The phrase “fake it til you make it” does not bring up positive thoughts in my mind. I think of ‘cheap’, ‘inauthentic’, ‘lies’ — all of which are terms I hope to not be aligned with.
If everyone were faking it, or at least believing that they needed to in order to grow and improve, then what would that do to our culture?
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We are not actors and even they will tell you that the best acting comes from going there, standing in the uncomfortable truths of yourself. That takes a bit of a stretch.
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There is no deceit in stretching. It’s an uncomfortable and authentic attempt at growing stronger, reaching further. Stretch brings to mind effort, courage, preparation, and growth.
We tend to think that the people who are successful, inventing new technologies and running companies that change the world are somehow superior to us. Those who “make it” must have some sort of special power inaccessible to us and we must “fake it” in order to even have a chance at getting to their level.
“When you grow up you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it… Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”
― Steve Jobs
This becomes a greater problem in the context of depression.
Many people will experience depression as a result of being out of alignment with who they really are, their authentic self, and adding on the idea of ‘fake it til you make it’ can only worsen that. In the context of trying to help peoplebelieve in recovery or a positive side to life the phrase can be helpful, but language is powerful.
We shouldn’t try to elevate people’s belief in a concept, by decreasing their belief in themselves.
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Our psychology can definitely be changed over time through our thoughts and I used the ‘fake it’ method in my own recovery long ago, but now I’m starting to see the possible side effects of that ‘treatment’. I have no problems seeing myself at a higher level achieving (and being more), but I still struggle to believe that I am capable of it.
I can fake it to get there, but can I sustain it?
What happens when you’ve made it and you feel like a fraud?
Speaking from my own experience and on behalf of all the other type A personalities, over-achievers, and successful people who’ve felt this way, making it doesn’t fix things. If anything, it can make it worse.
There is great fear in being ‘found out’ once we’ve achieved a certain level of success, our belief has solidified in us faking it past the point of making it and we become a fraud because we believe we’ve been faking it this entire time. The truth is we haven’t.
The process is the same on the outside whether you think of it as stretching or tell yourself that you need to fake it til you make it.
It’s what happens inside your mind that matters.
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It can make the difference between enjoying your success or developing an identity as a fraud. It can be the distinction between life and death as it develops into a mindset over years and you feel you don’t deserve it all or that you’re not worth it since you’ve faked your way into it.
Changing Your Language Will Change Your Life
We all have goals, higher levels that we want to reach and achieve, and even if you’re unsure of what that is for you at this time you know you want it still.
Don’t rob yourself of the potential within and the credit you deserve.
Forget the idea of faking it, don’t ask yourself if you’re ready, just move your body, get the blood flowing and stretch.
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This article originally appeared The One Project
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