The Marriage Warning Sign You Shouldn’t Ignore

There I was, getting ready to log-in to my daily Zoom meeting, when my computer slid off my desk. Everything that I had on my schedule for that day was immediately off my agenda.

In that moment, all the things I meant to do but didn’t hit me. I thought I had time. I thought I would do it someday. But, as we all know, someday isn’t on any calendar.

Even though I had great intentions—backing up my computer, updating my business finances, investigating options for my next computer–I waited at least one day too long.

Quite frankly, if my computer hadn’t taken a nose-dive, all of these things would probably still be on my to-do list. They were important, but not urgent. Until they were.

As a result, I’m paying for my inattention. Not just the unplanned and uninvestigated purchase of a new computer. But rebuilding my email contacts, recovering all my user information, and retrieving my calendar. Three weeks later, I’m still putting things back together.

Luckily, I was able to connect with people who could help me. If I had to do it all on my own, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

More importantly, losing my computer, while annoying and frustrating, isn’t life changing.

The end of your marriage will be.

Yes, you have experience with relationships. But, like me with computers, you may only have cursory knowledge of what makes them work.

You may have the intention of learning more. You may recognize that there’s room for improvement in your marriage, but it’s not “that bad” yet. Until, like my computer crashing to the floor, your marriage hits the skids.

And, if you don’t have someone who can help you, you may find yourself scrambling just like I did.

But I can assure you, the stakes are much higher.

You plan on doing something about it someday. But right now, you think you have time.

If your marriage had a “check engine” light, it would be thinking or hearing “things aren’t that bad.”

How “bad” does it have to get? One of you bringing up divorce? If that happens, it will take a lot to rebuild, even if it’s possible.

Like most things, it’s better to be proactive and keep things working, than letting them break down and try to repair them.

I know my limitations when it comes to technology. I would rather turn to someone with more knowledge and experience to guide me than struggle on my own. (And trust me, those around me are glad I do.)

So will you continue to put off addressing your relationship challenges? Or will you make someday be today?

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Previously Published on The Hero Husband Project and is republished on Medium.

 

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Photo credit: iStock