Making peace with someone can be really awesome, but what about making peace with yourself? Joe Rutland makes an offer for you, himself, and the Universe.
This is going to sound like one of those late-night infomercials for a few sentences. Pardon me as I channel my inner Ron Popiel.
“Hey friends, have you ever wanted to feel at the peak of your life? Ever considered that a problem inside your body might be blocking you from a great relationship? What would YOU do to get in that peak position? We’ve got the best, fastest, sure-fire shortcut remedy to your situation. Take this fast-acting medicine and, wow, your life will change immediately! It’s a money-back guarantee! Whoopee!”
Did I convince you to pick up the phone and call 1-800-FIX-ME-UP? No? Oh well, back to the infomercial drawing board.
All kidding aside, there is no need for an infomercial.
Being in a relationship with someone special can bring out the best and worst in men and women. It can either be a romantic or platonic relationship. If people are close enough to one another and relate with similar life experiences, then count on having moments of treading water.
It’s going to happen.
Yet if I want to be involved with someone, then would it make sense to make sure that my own house is in order? When I speak of “my own house,” I’m referring to my inner world … whether you call it soul, spirit, heart, energy, or simply being.
Therefore, I’d like to offer that the most important relationship you and I will ever have in the world is the one with our selves. If you think being involved with another person is a lot of work, then wait until the soul mining begins.
Don’t discount the importance of taking stock around what is going on inside.
Emotions, feelings, finances, romances, stressors, childhood memories, childhood nightmares … you name it. These topics and items are all within us. Of course, there are those rare exceptions where a man or woman has never had any of the above or tough real-life situations. Everything has been a bottle of red wine, roses, butterflies, sunny skies, candlelight and reading Rumi poetry to their lover under the moonlight skies.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, in order to start working on the most important relationship in life, begin with the heart.
The heart is recognized medically and spiritually as a powerful energy force within you and me. If my heart is not right, then bad stuff happens.
What I want to say is this: You can do this work on a daily basis. You have the inner spirit and ability to make sense of the nonsensical. It takes time. It takes work. It takes the willingness to take a risk and put it all out on the table.
Pick up a pen and a piece of paper. Write out the positives and negatives that you find within yourself. Lay them out. It’s only for your eyes to see. No one else, OK. And you know what? After you have done this exercise, then you will come to find out that you are not that bad a person.
I have done this and can attest to the fact that I’m not the jerk in the entire Universe.
Now being an ass at times? Yes, I admit it. But reflecting that to the outer world is only a symptom of what is going on inside me.
If I am not peaceful on the inside, then it’s just going to come out all messed up. I’m going to piss you, and you, and you, and you off. Yeah, you too, jerk.
Really nice guy here, huh? Well, that is going to happen if I don’t take care of me. This might sound, as some have written, “selfish, self-centered and egotistic.” OK. Tell me: Would you rather be a 24-hour butthole with no awareness around your actions? Are you disconnected from yourself? I don’t want to be Angry Kid Joe all the time. That is simply a reflection of unresolved emotional stuff inside my soul.
Take a look around your neighborhood or your circle of friends. Just notice their body language, words, physical responses and nuances. Then “check in” with yourself and see if any of their behaviors trigger something inside you.
Do you feel peaceful or angry? Happy or sad? Do you feel anything? What are you feeling?
Please don’t give me the “feelings don’t matter, it’s only facts that matter” talk. You want facts? Check this out. Look at how much outward emotional violence is in towns, cities, states, nations and continents all over the world right now.
That’s one reason I say that the most important relationship you will ever have in the world is with the man or woman that you see in the mirror each day.
Oh, you don’t look at the person in the mirror, you say? Ha! What a lie. That might simply be a reflection of your image to you, yet if you look close enough, then you will find something in there that may click inside.
What can you and I do to have a peaceful inner life? Here are three suggestions. Take what you like and leave the rest:
- Meditation – This has been around for centuries. Yogis, rabbis, ministers, pastors, priests and holy men know about the power of meditation. Getting quiet for 10-15 minutes per day, silencing the mind, dumping the “head trash” as it’s called by speaker Les Brown, and simply breathing and being can really help.
- Affirmations – Don’t laugh. Here are two ways to look at affirmations, and both involve religious and spiritual paths. In the religious way, texts like the Holy Scriptures, the Torah, the Koran, the Book of Mormon and others, offer their specific followers (in certain sections) affirmative language. In the spiritual way, texts like A Course in Miracles and the works of Wayne Dyer, Esther Hicks (of “The Teachings of Abraham”), Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson and others can help develop affirming statements and language.
- Positive self-talk. How much of each day do I spend talking bad about myself to myself? Too damn much. I’ve made progress in the past few years, thankfully. Yet that trash dumpster of negative memories and emotions, which smells so familiar, can drag me back into the mess. What has worked for me is redirecting my inner language from “You suck, Joe! You’re such a loser!” to “Hey Joe, you are a really great guy. You’re making wonderful progress in life. Keep it up!” Everyone, from the child in grade school to the adults walking the halls of academia, could use a little more positive self-talk in their lives.
Here’s my offering (if choose to accept this assignment). Give this a week. Try it out. What type of difference would it make in your life, my life and the lives of those that we touch each day? This is totally an individual choice, too.
What if this become a worldwide mantra? Could love become the greatest dominant emotion to come out of this work? I believe so.
Find something that works for you. After all, this is your life.