Paul Hudson thinks you shouldn’t walk out on love, unless it’s one of the reasons you’re not happy.
By PAUL HUDSON
There is no decision more difficult to make than deciding whether or not the person you have been with, the person you know you once loved, is still the right person for you. When we fall in love, we are often so blinded that we rarely see the person for who he or she really is.
We choose to see only the best and ignore all that we find unsettling. We assume we are made for each other and believe we will always love each other and be together, but that rarely turns out to be the case.
The weeks or months leading to a breakup are the most painful you will experience. It’s the confusion and uncertainty that make you miserable.
It’s not knowing whether you should continue to give the relationship a chance or call it quits that weighs so heavily on your soul.
There are many bad reasons to leave someone, but there are only a few good reasons to move on. Here are eight of them:
You’re unhappy and it’s clearly because of the relationship.
The relationships we have with people affect us differently in accordance with the importance we give them. The closer we are with someone, the more we love and care for that person and the heavier the relationship weighs on our consciousness.
The status of our relationship will greatly affect the way we feel and our entire perspective on life. If a relationship is making you miserable, making you feel worthless and continuously sad, then no one can blame you for calling it quits.
The good times are outweighed by the bad.
All relationships have their highs and lows. The fluctuations are a natural part. However, when the lows dominate your relationship, something isn’t right.
The reason you started seeing your partner in the first place was because of how great the relationship made you feel.
You loved your partner because of all the good times you had, all the fun you had, and all the wonderful memories you created. If the only memories you are now creating sting your heart and bring tears to your eyes, then your best option may be to walk out the door and leave it behind.
You don’t see yourself spending your life with your partner.
You should not be a part of a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Yes, we all want to feel wanted and loved, but if the relationship won’t amount to anything, what’s the point?
In our day and age, getting attention and/or getting laid is not difficult. Why pretend that someone means something to you when that’s clearly not the case? It isn’t fair to that person and it isn’t fair to you. You’re only setting yourself up for pain and problems.
You have lost your trust in your partner.
Trust is the foundation that all loving relationships are built upon – without it, we have nothing. If you cannot trust the people in your life, then you are doing something wrong. You are making and keeping the wrong company.
Without trust, a relationship is completely worthless. If the person you’re with has broken your trust and you don’t believe it to be reparable, or if this person doesn’t even make an effort to repair it, then it’s not worth your time.
Your partner doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
How do you deserve to be treated? With respect. You deserve to be respected as a human being and you deserve to be loved for being the wonderful, unique person you are. If your partner doesn’t respect you, then you’re being taken for granted.
There’s no reason to allow yourself to be with such a person. There are people out there who will love you for you. You just need to find them.
Your partner cheated on you.
I understand some people are willing to give cheaters a second — even third — chance. I’m not one of those people. However, I can understand others when they decide to forgive and move past such episodes.
I believe that doing so always causes problems, as few people ever actually move past and forget what was done. Yet, if you can do so then some people may deserve to be given one more chance. But… no one can blame you for leaving someone willing to do that to you.
You fell in love with someone else.
It happens. You’ve been with a person for a while and then someone else comes into your life and takes your breath away. We can’t always help whom we fall in love with, and when it happens, we should follow our hearts.
If you fall in love with another while you are still with someone, then it’s better to go with your newfound love; you never really loved the first person to begin with.
You’re not capable of loving your partner the way your partner deserves to be loved.
If anyone understands letting someone go because you can’t be the person that someone deserves to be with, it’s me.
You may love your partner with all of your heart, but when you know you’re neither in the right place nor the right state of mind to be the person your partner needs you to be, then you must let your partner go.
If you can’t be the love of your partner’s life, the person your partner has always dreamed of and the person your partner deserves to be loved by, then make the difficult choice and let your partner go.
It will be hard. It will be painful. It will stick with you for most of – if not all of – your life, but it’s the right thing to do. There is no greater act of love than to love without any benefit to yourself.
They call it unconditional love.
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Originally appeared at Elite Daily.
By Paul Hudson
A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson (@MrPaulHudson) has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. Currently located in Manhattan, Paul Hudson primarily devotes his time between writing for Elite Daily and a mining startup in Turkey. He loves sharing his life experiences with his readers and makes sure to practice what he preaches.