Finding a “keeper” is about more than that giddy feeling you get when you kiss.
Trying to find that special someone can be exhausting and frustrating these days, especially with more and more people opting for quick hookups.
Some don’t make any real effort to get to know you and others would try everything, then lie their ways into your life just to get in your pants.
We now get more apprehensive in assessing guys and letting them into our lives. Who’s worth it? Who’s genuinely in it?
Good thing there are a few surefire ways you can know for sure if he’s genuine.
Can he be worth your time and be a positive impact in your life? After all, the only men worth letting in are the ones you can be mutually positive with, in all manners of things.
Here’s how to tell if the two of you are really on the same page:
1. He inspires you to be a better person
He has his sh*t together. He works hard to pay off debts and land the job of his dreams. He has filtered out his bad attitude, claims accountability and exudes sensibility for his actions.
He’s always open to helping out other people and cultivating relationships, and he knows what he wants in life. And, as you see him accomplish these things, you can’t help but reassess your own attitude, goals and dreams and strive to achieve them, too.
2. He has your back at all times
When sh*t gets too real, he’s one of the first people — if not the only person — you turn to. If people talk crap behind your back, he knows better than to believe them. When you ask for help, he never thinks twice to lend you a hand.
He’s always there to cheer you up during the times when you can’t even defend yourself.
3. He knows you more than you know yourself
And, this isn’t just about him knowing your favorite ice cream flavor. He sees your true potential. He would never force you to do something you don’t want unless it’s something outside of your comfort zone that would benefit you.
If you’re stuck in a career rut, he’s the one who reminds you of what you’re really good at doing and of how happier you would have been if you fought hard to go after your dreams.
4. You never tire of each other
With all your other superficial and less special romantic relationships, seeing and talking every day seemed to be too much. You ran out of topics to discuss and you got tired of looking at each other.
That’s not the case with this special someone. With him, there’s always something great to do.
You never get tired of looking at each other, hearing each other’s voices and making each other giggle every day. You don’t tire now and you feel like you never will.
5. You are part of his dreams and aspirations
You have reached the point of knowing he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, and he feels the same way.
So, when something major takes place, like a job promotion or getting a mortgage, he first listens to your two cents about the matter because he knows those changes will affect both of your lives.
6. He values sex, but as just a part of the relationship, not therelationship
Sex is important in a relationship. It’s one of the main ways you express your love and passion for each other, and celebrate your undeniable chemistry.
But, what sets the special one apart from the rest is that he brings so much more to the table. His thoughts and actions do not revolve around sex and he makes an effort to cultivate all the aspects of the relationship.
7. He always finds ways to make you feel special
He may not be the richest dude out there, but whenever you spend alone time together, it’s always special. He looks at you like you would look at a present on Christmas morning.
He surprises you with your favorite chocolates on random days, makes reservations at your favorite restaurant and wears your favorite cologne. He shows you how you’re always on his mind.
8. He sticks with you during the worst of times
He can teach your fair-weather friends a thing or two about being genuine. Whenever you end up out of a job or mourning a loss in the family, he’s always there to take care of things.
As you find yourself deeply distraught or paralyzed by life’s obstacles, he’s there to pick you up and remind you that life goes on.
9. He’s not afraid to show his feelings
He has said he loves you many times, and meant it. He has shown you (and just you) the many ways you matter to him, and how important you are in his life.
If he’s just lying his way in, maybe he still would say those three words, but he would never go as far as to make the effort and show you how significant and real it is.
Apart from that, your gut tells you he is for real, and it just feels right.
10. You can make your differences work, no matter how big they are
It’s not about how much you have in common or how similar your beliefs are. It’s about acknowledging your conflicting traits and still managing to surpass those differences.
From something simple like you being an Indian food lover despite his distaste for spicy food to something as complicated as you two having different faiths, you both believe that as long as you love each other, you can work through anything.
11. The butterflies never go away
From the moment you first laid eyes on each other to much later, when you witnessed each other pick your noses, got angry or not showered for a few days, there are still times when you take each other’s breath away.
You still feel like a googley-eyed high school girl every time he sings to you, even off-key. You relish the scent he leaves on your sheets.
You sit across from him at the dinner table and still think to yourself how lucky and happy you are to be with him, flaws and all.
If you do find yourself a man who possesses the characteristics above, you are one lucky woman — don’t let him slip away. Make sure that for his benefit, you’ll be a good partner, too.
By Yasmin Gopez
Yasmin is a freelance writer based in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. She has more than 9 years of experience providing content for both traditional and new media.
Originally Published on Elite Daily
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