Every alternate universe
has been discovered
and there’s an app that tells you
how you rate compared
to all the other
different versions of you.
Do you want to know
how you measure up?
A fixture of speculative fiction, comic books and actual science-y science for decades, the idea that there exists a multiverse of possible Earths in which every potential alternative timeline is accounted for is a fun one to wrap our brains around.
But what if it wasn’t an interesting theory, but a proven fact? And what if we found a way to look into and explore these seemingly infinite variations on the theme of humanity? More importantly, what if we could specifically find out how we stacked up against all of the other different versions of ourselves who managed to also exist?
Imagine a social network that consisted of billons of different versions of yourself that ranged from the nearly identical to the astoundingly unrecognizable. Do you find this intriguing or does it sound about as fun as finding out how many swings of a hammer it takes to turn your pinky finger into bony dust?
If you did join up, do you think you would spend more time comparing yourself to the less successful versions of you or the ones who have seemed to have accomplished that much more? Would you use it for schadenfreude or envy?
In my case, I know I would be too curious to stay away for long. I like to think I could handle it well and would seek out the most compatible versions of myself to have fun and communicate with. Hopefully there would be a block button for the trollish Allans who hate me for no discernible reason (except maybe their own innate self-loathing).
Could be fun, right? What do you think?
As the head version of them, can I tax them all, somehow? (By that, I mean obtain a percentage of their annual income, not make them tired or cranky.)
One of my male heroes is Lister from the old Brit sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf. Red Dwarf is an odd couple story with Rimmer, who is a tightly-wound butt-kissing, backstabbing loser and Lister, who could be defined as a loser on paper but who is a wonderful combination of compassion and bravery; he’s loving and courageous. In my mind, Lister is one of the perfect TV guys. Both RImmer and Lister get a glimpse into an alternate universe where alternate versions of themselves fulfill their own unrealized dreams and hopes. Rimmer suffers this greatly, saying, “Why does HE get to… Read more »
Naturally! And I would add them all as friends on Facebook.
It’s fascinating to me to see that someone else latched onto this idea in a similar way I have. When I was 25, my husband divorced me. Up until that point, he had basically been my world and I was devoted to doing just about whatever was necessary to make our relationship work. But my power to do anything about our relationship was take completely out of my hands. At that time, I became almost-convinced (as convinced as a fairly rational, non-supersitious or religious person can be) that there was “another” Kate in another reality, a Kate that was in… Read more »
I don’t think I would. It would be too depressing to see the versions of myself that made far better, or far worse, choices; and the ones that were only slightly different, where’s the drama in that? Better to live with the mystery of what might have been.
I already thought everyone was just an alternate version of me.
No?
Yes, I’m the you that would have been if you were shorter, fatter, Canadian, male, older and much less handsome.
I use social media to escape my own head. A billion versions of me = HELL. No thanks 😉
Yeah, except many of them would be NOTHING like you.
NOPE NOPE NOPE. I already spend enough time feeling like I’ve irrevocably fucked up my life; the last thing I need is to see some asshole version of me who’s pounds lighter and thousands richer.
Interesting question – I have lived so much of my life trying to stay on the straight and narrow and fulfill the expectations set for me, that I think I would spend the most time viewing the profiles of the KKZs who didn’t hold to that path, who cheated, smoked, shoplifted, got bad tattoos, lived impulsively, couldn’t hold down a job, etc.. And it would be a mix of schadenfreude AND envy – envy that I never got to lead that life, gratitude for the life I *have* led. The ones who did better than me? Eh, boring. Potentially inspiring,… Read more »