“I feel like I’m in the doghouse with my partner.”
Ever hear a guy say that?
That’s code for I’m not getting any sex.
Have you been in the doghouse with your partner? Are you there now?
Every month, I hear from a handful of guys who say they’re not sexually fulfilled in their relationship.
They act like they’ve been wronged as if they’re at the mercy of their partner.
And in many cases, he feels like something has been taken away from him. Something he once had, that he no longer gets.
Do you feel sexually undernourished in your relationship?
If so, you may see your partner as the problem, as if they’re not giving you what you need or deserve.
And in that, you’re giving away your power. Power that you’re not even aware you still have.
How do you give away your power to your partner when it comes to sex?
Like many guys, you’re likely mistaking sex for something else.
Something you forgot you even have access to.
Something within yourself. Independent of your partner.
Something you have to own within yourself.
And ironically when you do own this, it will make you more sexually attractive to your partner.
The desire for sex in a committed long-term relationship is not just about sex, as I often say.
It’s about…connection.
So how do you confidently communicate with your wife or partner about sex so that your words are received?
Succinctly said, you…
- Speak from the heart.
- Emphasize the importance of connection.
- You use lots of “we” and “us” language and less of “I” or “you.”
“I want more sex. You’re never open to it.” Big no-no’s. That’s needy boy language.
Do you seek to increase sex and intimacy in your relationship?
READ MORE FROM STUART MOTOLA:
Stop Blaming Her & Start Empowering Yourself
Get Past the Burden of Feeling Like a Failure to Her
How to Deal With Her Rejection
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Previously Published on stuartmotola.com and is republished on Medium.
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