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As Father’s Day approaches, and I make plans to spend part of the day with my son and his family, I am reminded that I used to find the day a painful reminder of my own father’s absence from my life. My father had some deep, unresolved issues in his own mind and chose to spend his life away from his family of origin and the three children he co-created with two women. Unfortunately, I was a statistic as far as my step-father being abusive after my bio-dad left. However, the positive influences of my father’s brother and that of my paternal grandfather were critical in demonstrating to me how a healthier male treats his family and how I, a young woman at the time, should prefer to be treated, instead.
After some intensive therapy for my family father wound, I began to notice healthier men participating in the emotional welfare of children and youth with absent fathers—whether the father was emotionally distant and unavailable or physically absent for whatever reason. As was true in my case, many were uncles, and fathers of their own children. However, several of the men contributing to the emotional enrichment of these fatherless children were men who were not a bio- or stepfather to any child.
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We want to hear your story related!
- When does a man invest his time and energy into the wellbeing of another man’s child?
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- Who were the men in your life who “fathered” you emotionally and socially in the absence of your biological father?
- How are you a surrogate father for a child or youth who has an absent father?
- How can extended family and the wider community support men who fill this important role?
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Photo credit: Getty Images