Relationships are like the clothes you wear: if they don’t fit right, they can make you unhappy.
And just like clothes, there are different types of relationships that fit people’s preferences. People approach love in different ways, after all, and who are we to judge what people like to do in their personal lives?
One of those types is open relationships. They’re defined as non-monogamous relationships where the two parties involved aren’t exclusively dating each other. In this arrangement, they’re both free to pursue other sexual (or in some cases, romantic) partners.
People often lump open relationships and polygamy together. However, the two are quite different. The latter means simultaneously engaging in loving relationships with multiple people, while the former restricts the full commitment to the primary couples.
There’s been a recent uptick in open relationships, with New York-based therapist Sarah Levinson noticing people’s rising curiosity. “It was more obscure 10 years ago, now it’s incredibly common,” she shares in a BBC interview.
Since there’s a rise in such arrangements, you may be curious as to why people pursue them. We’ll lay out the pros and cons for you to better understand their allure.
The Yays
No commitment is necessary
One standout perk of open relationships is the lack of exclusivity. Since there are no labels involved, you get to experience the thrills and chills of new relationships without committing to them.
People engaging in these arrangements don’t feel pressured to be tied down to someone. Think of it this way: it’s like trying out a free sample of a product before buying it.
You get to open your eyes to something new
Humans are a naturally curious species. An open relationship can entice a person’s curiosity and open them up to new experiences they may not get with their exclusive partners.
You can learn something new about yourself
There may be pent-up feelings that surface once open relationships enter the picture. As people pursue this type of relationship, they can better gauge their preferences, needs, and limits.
Communication skills become better
Open relationships require effective communication from everyone involved. Individuals who participate in them are upfront with what they want, leaving no room for confusion and misplaced expectations.
They’re simply fun
Living in a fast-paced world can make some of us forget how enjoyable sex can be. An open relationship can remind participants that it isn’t a chore.
The Nays
You can catch feelings
Human as we are, we can’t predict how and when our feelings will manifest. One of the risks of pursuing open relationships is that the possibility of falling for the person you’re having fun with will always be present.
Jealousy may surface
Since we’re on the subject of feelings, an open relationship may cause one person to feel jealous. The longer this jealousy lingers, buried insecurities may come to light and make things worse.
Expectations may change
People involved in open relationships don’t always have similar expectations going into them. Let’s say one person wants more out of their current setup while the other wants to keep what they have. If participants don’t talk their assumptions out, troubles may arise.
Open relationships aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Should you choose to pursue it, you and your partner should set proper and manageable rules and expectations to make it a great experience for everyone.
Keep the pros and cons above in mind as you weigh your options.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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