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Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not a people person”, “I could never do that”, or my favorite “Work is supposed to make me miserable”? I have. I’ve convinced myself that I wasn’t smart enough to figure out the solution to a homework assignment. I’ve excused myself by claiming I’m too shy to introduce myself or speak in front of a crowd. I’ve even believed that I wasn’t good enough to amount to anything.
My mistake of repeating these scripts to myself daily for years nearly led me to fail high school, convinced me to push away the woman I love, and created a great deal of regrets and pain. Little did I know that they are just stories; not true.
The truth is that there’s a lot on your plate and you don’t know where to start. We’ve all been there. You have a deadline at work to meet and several projects needing your attention at home. You feel overwhelmed and nothing is going your way. Scared you may not move the needle in any direction and suddenly you think to yourself, “I’m going to fail”. And that’s where it enters: limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are thoughts that hold us back from reaching our potential. These thoughts, which we often hold to be true, make up the fabric of our experiences. Some people even go the majority of their lives not recognizing that their beliefs about the world are not true at all.
If you’re not careful this initial thought will quickly gain traction and become a reality. I know because I’ve been there. I’m describing myself.
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5 Lies Holding You Back
Lie №1: I’m an impostor.
The very first thought I consistently battle with is: “I’m a fraud and everyone is about to find out”. It sneaks in whenever I’m ready to start a new project or share something. In fact, I feel it right now as I’m writing this: “I’m a phony, a poser, a fake”. They are just thoughts and I know I have a choice not to identify with them and allow them to interfere with reality.
This is not uncommon and you’re not the first and only one feeling this way.
In ‘The Icarus Deception’ by Seth Godin, he wrote that he “still feels like a fraud all the time”. This is coming from a well-respected thought leader in the marketing space with a record of proven success as an author, speaker, businessman, and admired blogger.
Impostor syndrome is a real thing. We feel pressure to achieve “great” things in our lives. Pressure to be something bigger and better than we ever thought possible. Pressure to “succeed”: as a business professional, a parent, a man.
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Lie №2: It can wait.
This is a tricky lie because in many cases “it” can wait. The problem is that this lie typically comes around at the wrong time.
I find myself putting off important tasks all of the time. I’m a habitual procrastinator. I know I’m not alone with this procrastination thing. In fact, research shows “that 20% of U.S. men and women are chronic procrastinators”. As I mature, I see it more and more in myself and the people around me. We’re guilty.
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Lie №3: I can do them both.
Have you ever found yourself thinking that you can effectively tackle two projects or commitments simultaneously? I have!
I studied this challenge and wrote down some findings in an article I wrote about “The Monkey Mind”, where I detailed some issues with thinking that we can work on more than one thing at a time — better known as multi-tasking.
Key Takeaway: The most effective approach to get things done faster and better is to focus on a single task or priority.
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Lie №4: I’m not “feeling it” anymore.
I wake up wishing it wasn’t Monday occasionally. It makes you feel drained and discouraged. I grew to hate this feeling and found it holding me back from making progress in my personal and professional life. I did some research on it and found that I’m actually not alone. Many people — including successful people — struggle with the same thing. It’s normal. It happens.
These feelings always creep up and so I forced myself to create a list of affirmations to refer to whenever “I’m just not feeling it”. I actually keep my affirmations in electronic format using Evernote. This makes it easy to access wherever and whenever. This is readily available to help replace negative and limiting thoughts when they creep up. It makes a huge difference.
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Lie №5: I can’t afford to fail, again.
Fear of failure is crippling. It often causes us to do nothing. Fear keeps us from moving forward.
Everyone hates to fail. But, it’s impossible to go through life without failing. If you focus on avoiding failure you’re likely to miss out on a lot. Fear holds us back from relationships and goals, it destroys dreams and productivity, and it often sabotages us before we begin.
You have to overcome your fear of failing if you ever wish to get a chance to excel. It’s OK to fail.
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Remember, beliefs — like habits — are formed by repetition. A limiting belief and limitless belief derive from the same source. What I’ve come to conclude is that successful people challenge themselves daily to stretch and overcome their limitations. You can do it too. Here is a quick and easy way to start:
- Believe. Now you know you’re not alone. There is obviously a challenge ahead but you can and will overcome it, as long as you believe you can. Competitors know that if they believe they will fail, they will. If you believe you will succeed, you will. Success may not look exactly how you expect it to, but it will be success. Focus on progress and growth and you will never lose. Progress and growth lead directly to success.
- Act. The name of the game is progress. You can’t make progress if you sit back and wait so take action. It sounds simple because it is. This is where most fail. Most people don’t take action. Others aren’t intentional about it. Blind action gets you started but the intentional action gets you pointed in the right direction. Start.
- Repeat. It’s worth repeating. I repeat: it’s worth repeating — repetition is what forms beliefs. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Find a comfortable pace, believe you can reach the finish line and keep that pace until you do. Repeat.
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Question:
What do you do when you run into a challenge that may stop you from reaching your goals? Continue the conversation by sharing your response in the comments section.
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A version of this post originally appeared on the author’s website and is republished here with his permission.
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Photo credit: Pixabay
Talking about procrastination, I’ve been struggling with mine for the last 10 years and read countless books and self help methods. Here is what I’m having best results with. First of all, procrastination bulldozer method has worked wonders for me. I highly recommend you apply it. Secondly, whenever you have a task that takes less than 5 minutes to do, do it right away. No delays. I’m really starting to take control of my life now.
Lia, I’d like to think that most of us struggle with procrastination to some degree in some form. Your suggested “bulldozer method” looks like something I’ll need to check out. Got any specific resources you’d recommend? The “5 minute gauge” is a great trick that I too am now using effectively. I’ve struggled with trying to please everyone and have failed to understand what matters most to me in my life and this has contributed the most to my procrastination. I’ve found that everything isn’t equally important and most things don’t matter as much as we think they might and… Read more »