It’s sex. Things are going to happen.
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By Frank Kobola
1. If it’s the first date. That’s totally fine.
2. If it’s the ninth date. That’s just as fine.
3. If you’re wearing “granny panties.” They’re coming off, so what’s the difference. Sure, it’s not “sexy” but cupcake wrappers don’t look delicious. You’re going to throw it in the garbage and eat the cupcake anyway.
4. That someone, at some point, is going to have to go fumbling awkwardly for a condom. Someone is going to have to pause the action to pull out a condom and wait for the nod of confirmation from other party that says, “Yeah, we’re going to need that.”
5. The fact that you even have a box of condoms. If you’re the one grabbing the condom, don’t worry about what kind of person having a box of condoms makes you look like. It’s 2015. You look like someone who has safe sex.
6. If it’s the best sex he’s ever had, ever (EVER). No one wants their sex to be bad, but if it’s the first time you two are fooling around, there are going to be hiccups (maybe literally). If you’re into each other, you’ll have plenty of other shots at making the sex better.
7. If you awkwardly elbow him trying to get your shirt off. Things happen. Just gloss over it and move on. Apologizing for 10 minutes kills the momentum.
8. Whether or not you shaved that morning. A little stubble never hurt anyone.
9. How the mood is set. The mood is “sex-having.” That is fine. Don’t worry about music and candles.
10. If you’re wearing a padded bra. Don’t feel like he’s going to take off your bra and walk out screaming, “I’ve been duped!” Because he won’t.
11. How many sex positions you run through. You don’t need to prove anything by going through every single sex position you can think of. You can totally do that, but don’t feel like you’ve got to hit every position on the Kama Sutra bingo card.
12. If it lasts “all night.” Long enough that you both have an orgasm is sufficient. He might not be bragging to his friends the next day, “We totally had adequate sex until we both reached completion after several minutes,” but you know, sex is a team effort.
13. If you need lube. Some people need a little boost to get started. There’s nothing weird about it and you shouldn’t go through discomfort instead of reaching for the lube real quick. Think of it like carbo-loading before a marathon.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan. For more like this from Cosmo. try:
15 Things That Shouldn’t Matter About the Person You’re Dating
17 Sweet Things Guys Do That You Don’t Even Notice
Photo credit:Matthew Romack/flickr
This is appalling.
This is preposterous. What is good about the man described in this article? How about- totally average, run of the mill, jump off a cliff for pleasure just like everybody else, and shallow- that would be a more apt description.. So disappointed that this article is on this site. They even use the term “foong around”– how spineless is that? As if the human body deserved anything less than the utmost dignity and respect. If it isn’t courageous, if it isn’t respectful, if it isn’t fruitful, and if it isn’t intelligent, it has no business masquerading with the label “good”.… Read more »
Which “guys” are you referring to? In my experience, some men DO expect some of these things and will say so even in intimate situations. This is a disappointing post that falls short of your mission and values.
Quite a few sexist and a bit off putting comments in this article. I didn’t like it at all.
Ugh, cosmo now? Really? Is this the Goodmenproject or the local magazine rack?