“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” –Groucho Marx
I have a question for all the men out there.
Have you ever caught yourself producing from the place of guilt, or not feeling enough, or from the society command to be productive?
I did. Almost every day of my life. Part of me pushes myself to reach virality and compete with the world. To be The Man. One of the 3% of the best out there. Best fuckers. Toughest. Coolest.
Oh, wait! That’s my needy, attention-craving persona. It wants to catapult me to the man’s pedestal every single day. This little creature is addicted to sucking all the productivity tips, creativity hacks, and relationship guidelines. And as you know, that space can overload us on content.
Productivity can kill the connection
I need something to fill up the emptiness which is created by imprisoning the sad and painful children who live inside of me.
My “system” doesn’t need them. You see, it’s too busy with processing. Thinking I’m doing something worthwhile.
You know what I’ve discovered to be the instant cure for this?
If you’re lucky like me, there’s a woman lying by your side. She’s watching you do this. And she’s feeling lonely.
Maybe you think you’re too busy and too stressed out to let her in your preoccupied space station. She’s too much for you. You’re tired. You worry. Everyone depends on you. She’s your responsibility, too. You cannot let go. Maybe you just want to go to sleep and forget about it. Wake up the next day and have a fresh start in your Productivity Land.
Be nobody except her huMAN
But it’s bugging you. You’re feeling something, right?
Do you know what you can do right away to save yourself?
Look right in her eyes. Let her watch the movie from your head: show her all of the inner fear, shame, brokenness, sadness, and patheticness.
Fall apart. Completely.
Give yourself to her comfort. Let her hold you.
Be nothing. Be nobody except her huMAN.
I don’t want her to miss me anymore. I’m going with everything I’ve got. I’m not going to sleep before she feels me.
Cause you know what?
You’re losing your pedestal now. But, maybe the moments spent with her are the best moments of your fucking life.
Don’t go to sleep before her
Maybe there will be no space stations. And maybe the New York Times editors will never call you.
What if all you really have is this little space between you and her?
So, don’t go to sleep before her. If she loves you, she’ll be your biggest resource for success. Cherish the moment and let go of everything you have read and were taught about being a man. If she loves you, she’ll stay and make you feel alive.
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This post was previously published on P.S. I Love You and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Talk to you soon.
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