Deena Kunapuli shared this story and video from India that needs to be talked about by men and women.
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This ad From India shows men exactly how creepy they are when they stare at women on the street.
If you’re a woman and have been in a public place, chances are you’ve been the recipient of an unwanted leer or stare from a guy. Sometimes the staring turns into more. One year after Nirbhaya, a young girl in Delhi, was brutally raped on a bus, this Mumbai film school released a video highlighting the harassment and unwanted attention women face while just trying to go about their day. It’s meant to start a conversation about what empowerment for women looks like.
This problem isn’t unique to India, but it’s definitely a place to start the conversation.
And in case you’re wondering, the lyrics to the Hindi song in the background mean “This is what it looks like when you’re looking at me.”
h/t Upworthy
by Deepa Kunapuli
Perhaps this video should be titled-
“this is what it looks like when guys from a non-Judeo/Christian Eastern oriented society with a large proportion of vegetarians gawk at women”
Wait is the guy scoping the ass cleavage and tattoo supposed to feel guilty?
Is there anything close to an objective measurement of time that distinguishes a glance from a gawk? Is there anything close to an objective distinction between the concept of a glance from the concept of a gawk? How much information can you obtain about someone from just a glance? How long does it take to acquire the following details of a stranger you see in public? – Age – Possible occupation – Health – Likely cultural values – Mood & demeanor – – Possible immediate influence(s) on mood – – Are they friendly? Shy? Dangerous? – – Are they likely… Read more »
“Is there anything close to an objective measurement of time that distinguishes a glance from a gawk? ”
There are multiple measures
One’s physical attractiveness is the primary determinant.
Secondary considerations go to the color of your AMEX, and the make of your watch, shoes and suit…
Hell wearing a suit rather than drywall dusty Carhartts and Red Wing boots will probably keep you on the flirty side of creepy for a long time.
An IPhone used to be a charm- but it is fading…
LOL! Satire. I really don’t have sympathy for the three guys on the bus; even if the first guy that noticed the sweat bead on her breast was simply transfixed, nudging his co-mates to join in indicates some sense of them and us entitlement issues. I used to get that at work, when we could look through the window at customers coming in, but know they couldn’t see us, and someone would say “hey, hey, there’s a real hottie in this next group. Check her out. Eh? Eh?” and I’d feel uncomfortable with that but that’s what guys in packs… Read more »
I should write up,the time the woman flashed me on the ETrain
I had a huge reply to this but I think moderation ate it up 🙁
Basically look up body language books, they help a lot.
I’ve sat across from a man with a newspaper resting on his knees as I was dressed conservatively on the Toronto subway on the way to work at 8:30 a.m. He lifted the paper just below his eyes and there it was, the erection. He watched to see my reaction. I took a picture and called the police and pressed the yellow strip which halted the subway where the police were waiting. Another man on the streetcar pressed up against me. I thought because it was standing room only it was the hard side rim of a purse pressing up… Read more »
It’s just as much of a problem here in the U.S. This is the first video to capture how demeaning and scary it is when men stare at you like you’re a piece of meat. It happens all the time, and sometimes it goes further. I had a guy ask me if he could “talk to my ass” while I was dressed (relatively un-provocatively) in a t-shirt and jeans. When I ignored him he got belligerent. He started calling me names and playing the wounded “I’m a good guy who tried to pay you a compliment” card. 🙁 Catcalls, remarks,… Read more »
I actually wish guys would do this in front of me so I can tell them to quit it or tell them better ways to pay a compliment. It’s frustrating knowing it goes on but I am pretty much never in a position to tell that person about it, and none of my friends do it around me. I think it needs to start when people are young, we need to educate them that yes some people are very sexy but you gotta still look at them as human. Don’t stare, don’t intrude, don’t get up in their face. Be… Read more »
Archie, a couple of guys in a truck parked at 7-11 (mini mart) were truly gawking at a women sitting in the car next to them and I did go up to the window of the truck and told them to cut it out. I know men really gawk and it’s wrong but what I’m beginning to feel is that men we are losing the line between true gawking and a glance.
Yeah I think some forget, I would hope most simply get caught in the moment. I wonder if it’s partly to do with our restrictive attitudes on sex and what is shown?
Not used. Just like we need a shower.
Powerful video. As a man who is married to an Indian woman and who has spent time in Delhi, I can tell you that its a serious issue there. Men just stare. For as long as the women is present. That said, there are versions of this behavior in all cultures. Its as if no one taught men how to be gentlemen. How to be civil. How to respect a women’s feelings. Glance, don’t stare. If a women stares at the man, the same easily applies. But its far less of an issue. Because women tend to be more circumspect… Read more »
So you’re saying that it’s ok if one is more discreet and circumspect about it? So hiding what you’re doing makes it ok?
We are all glancing about all the time. It is the staring that indicates disregards of the feelings (or fears) of others.
Andrew, check out this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdIAa6gnaco These girls are glancing, it’s not meant to be offensive or threatening. Try this experiment, stare directly at your friend with a neutral face and tell me what happens after about 3-4 seconds inside. Do you notice anything like adrenaline popping up or any discomfort? For many the staring will bug them out but looking at them for a short glance multiple times won’t bother them as much. I don’t care if people glance at me, if they find me sexy then they can put me in their spank bank or hit on me if… Read more »
NO, I’d have to disagree with you,… its pretty much all males that do or have done it at some point. The difference is that only the MEN can gather their wits about themselves to introduce themselves and give the Ladies something to respond to. The rest are still boys, working out their inadequacies etc. yes, the predators can be found everywhere unfortunately.
Archie, thanks for sharing the video. Many years ago when I was just getting into the Corporate world, I worked for a well recognized corporation. I was a Sr. Account exec at the time. We had a male client come in. I’ll admit, the guy looked great and was impeccably dresses.He was meeting with our VP’s so I wasn’t in the meeting. At one point, he came out to go to the washroom. Two of my female counter parts asked me to follow him in and check him out. I am not exaggerating in any way. So IMO, it’s total… Read more »
I think the point of this video is that people in general tend to stare. And seriously, how concerned are you about being preyed upon?
If your question is to me, if I’m prayed upon, the women must be blind or hard up or maybe both. But you use the word “stare” and from what I’ve read in multiple articles here at GMP is that even staring is not acceptable to women as it appears to be intimidating.
Are men and women more segregated in India or is it similar to say Aus and the U.S where we usually grow up in schools together, etc? I would guess that growing up separate may lead to more staring? I’ve always wondered if the starers actually realize they are staring and realize it’s unnerving effects. It makes me surprised to learn of people actively staring at others since one of our basic instincts is to be cautious of those who stare since it’s often predatory behaviour. The only people that get away with staring here where I live are babies,… Read more »