I’ve discovered that mainstream ideas about love celebrate fear.
To remain attractive, it seems you need to avoid extreme opinions.
If women set standards for themselves, the lady’s dating options decline. That’s not fair. It also means the man isn’t the one for you.
Boundaries are rules for teaching people how to love you. It also prevents you from falling into habits of your old self.
These are the boundaries that make women unfairly unattractive.
#1. Stance on love
The content creator B. Simone received backlash in 2020.
She admitted her dating preference. Simone does not want a man who works a 9–5 job.
Her reasons seemed justifiable. She is an entrepreneur, and the work time difference would make it hard to see each other. Simone thinks business owners should date other entrepreneurs. Why? Because the lifestyle meshes well.
When men say they want young women, it’s controversial. But people let them live. Women get seen with disdain. And men stay away from them, even when the guy meets the criteria.
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Photo by mohsen ameri on Unsplash
#2. Confidence to not care
Kim Kardashian rubs many the wrong way.
Her confidence gets seen as insufferable. She doesn’t care if you like or dislike her. She only wants to get paid her worth.
I used to feel her presence in the internet space was excessive. But it is why Kim stays relevant. It is how she became the benchmark for who some people choose to date.
No one can please everyone.
Women confident enough to not care about how men view them get described using harsh language in comments and group chats . The reason? Men are afraid of their independence. So, empowered women drive fear into potential suitors.
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#3. Standards
How do you feel about a man paying for dinners? Is the rule fixed or flexible? How do you expect gender roles to play out in your relationships?
Women get disliked because of their expectations.
The negative feedback is even more when said on public platforms like TikTok or podcasts. Everyone has an opinion. But sharing your relationship expectations can make others see you in a lesser light. Again, this isn’t fair.
Clarity on your standards? It is excellent because you know what you want. And can express your needs well in conversations.
Clarity on expectations? It is great because you know how you want someone to support or add to your life.
If a man thinks the expectation is unreasonable, that’s his opinion. But women should not have to hide their feelings about love to stay attractive in a man’s eyes.
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Thank you for reading this post.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Ivan Kazlouskij on Unsplash