Taking the beauty of the stranger you meet into the everyday relationship you dream of.
You catch my eye across the room and the glance is held a second and third time.
We move in our circles of conversation closer and closer, and towards the end of the night we are in the same circle, eyes catching and hand actions mirroring, and all of a sudden I get the chance to introduce myself. You do the same and we talk and talk as others fall away. Then it is just us, and we swap numbers.
The texts follow, the attraction mutual and of course our thoughts begin to race.
We begin picturing the perfect relationship with each other. We are in love with an idea, an ideal relationship; the possibilities, the ignorance and the beauty in that. But oh, the trouble with that, with all the expectation we are creating.
The beauty of a new person in your life with all your hopes and ideals projected onto them and the relationship. Your head initially creates this perfect union, your thoughts running away on these ideals. How special you make yourself feel with their perfectly returned admiration. Their values match yours, goals align and their touch, just perfect, giving you goosebumps as the first kiss leads you to moments you have only dreamt of.
But the reality of two people coming together comes to the surface as the honeymoon period reveals the realism of your new relationship. How you really work in a day-to-day environment and how well habits gel.
We need to allow our fantasies to become reality in a realistic sense. We need to remember we won’t be able to keep up our own fairy tale appearance after a long hard day when things don’t go our way, when we are lacking sleep and feeling grumpy. At such a time we want someone to look at us when we are far from our best and love us anyway. We need to be able to be human and make the occasional mistake. Therefore in return, we need to ensure it is a two way street of support, care, respect and inspiration even during the days that don’t shine.
We need to get past the fairytale in our heads and understand the fairytale inside the other person. Just as we want someone to see all the good in our heart and love us for who we are, and accept us with understanding and support. We need to help each other grow, challenge each other to be the best we can be, but never forget what is right for us isn’t always going to be right in action or time for the other.
We want to be celebrated for who we are so we need to lead by example and celebrate the uniqueness in all those around us.
Then the fairy tale will be possible.
A fairy tale is possible but we have to allow hard days, trying times and little bumps as it is one with two humans. Then we need to remember to celebrate it as the amazing union it is, and our partner as the prince/princess they are, regularly.
Photo: Roberto Trm/Flickr