Older men hooking up with younger women get a bad rap.
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Older men hooking up with younger women get a bad rap. For example: The stereotype is of a man who dumps his faithful wife of 20-plus years and goes after the younger model. And on the other hand, any woman who prefers older men must be looking for someone to take care of her.
Wrong. (OK, sometimes completely true. But for women like me, dead wrong.)
I’m not looking for some kind of Sugar Daddy. I don’t want to get tangled up with a mid-life-crisis-leave-your-wife man. I’ve always been attracted to older men, and now that I’m in my mid-30s, my man is in his 50s.
Why? Because some of us just prefer older men and for some damn good reasons.
1. He has more patience. I know I have more patience now than I did 10 years ago. The same is true for older men. That gotta have it now, don’t make me wait sense of urgency is long gone. The older man looks at the conquest of a new relationship (or any new goal) as a long-term game, and he’s willing to wait and work for it.
2. Older men are more mature. Petty squabbles over who ate the last of the cereal, was that guy looking at you in the club? and whether a 401k is really necessary when the mountain bike is more fun — yeah, those don’t happen as much anymore.
3. Stability is sexy. He’s got a job. He’s earning money and paying his bills. He probably owns his house or rents a decent apartment. There’s something to be said for knowing that a man is stable and taking care of himself.
4. He’s learned from his mistakes. Whether it’s knowing to slow down on rainy roads or to leave the drunk girl at the bar, he’s learned from his past. The older guy is a bit wiser and more cautious than his younger counterpart.
5. Being a gentleman is part of his nature. Holding doors for you, picking up the heavy stuff, and helping you out is something he does automatically. He doesn’t do it because he thinks you’re weak. He does it because it’s polite — and he knows how to show you he cherishes you.
6. Those extra pounds don’t matter. He’s not the same size he was in high school, and he knows you aren’t, either. He wants you to be healthy but older men like a woman who can enjoy life whether in the form of a good steak or a three-scoop ice cream cone. He may say he likes to have something extra to hold on to at night. Let him.
7. He’s comfortable in his own skin. You know all those insecurities you still have about the random zit, weird chin hair, and sagging tummy? Yeah, he’s had his version of those things, too. And he’s over it. Older men wear what they like, do what makes them happy, and figure the rest of the world will just have to deal with it. Confidence is sexy.
8. He shows respect. Older men aren’t airing your dirty laundry on social media, telling all their buddies how good you are in bed, or treating you like an idiot in front of your friends. You’re his partner, and he will treat you with respect in front of others. Merciless teasing when it’s just the two of you is always a possibility, though.
9. Drama is not allowed. There’s no baby mama drama (remember that respect thing?) from him. He’s not picking a fight with you in public and shouting at you isn’t an option. A mature older man doesn’t have time or energy for drama.
10. Your pleasure comes first and often. With an older man, your pleasure is top priority. After years of practice, he knows his way around the female anatomy. He may help you discover parts you didn’t even know you had. (I’m looking at you, G-spot.)
No man is perfect but those of us who prefer a mature man know they offer something our contemporaries just don’t have. Not yet, anyway.
No man is perfect but those of us who prefer a mature man know they offer something our contemporaries just don’t have. Not yet, anyway.
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This story originally appeared on Ravishly.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Michaela if this was written as a praise to your man then I would say it is pretty sweet. But here you tell us that older men are better partners. It is like saying cats are better pets than dogs…. I wish I could be polite here but this article is so disturbing that I feel like screaming . No all men do not automatically turn into good , the best partners as they age. And if age in itself make us so much better then the same must be said about women as well? So you must conclude that… Read more »
Respect and maturity is a state of mind, not an attribute to a number on your birth certificate.
And if you praise the man with lots of experience, have you ever stopped to consider how and where he gained it?
It’s a good article, though I would have liked to see more about what a younger woman brings to a relationship. Not every sexy younger woman posseses the maturity, flexibility, and openness necessary for a relationship with an older man. Hm, maybe this will be my next piece…
I dated some older men (40’s-50i’s) when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s. To be britally honest, I enjoyed the fact that they had money and could show me a good time. They were also thrilled to be dating a younger woman so they overlooked my flaws in a way that men my own age didn’t. However, eventually I tired of the dynamic since they had a tendency to use their superior life experience against me. There were also generational differences (Gen X vs Baby Boomer) that got tiring. Sorry I don’t want to hear again about Bob… Read more »
“He has more patience. I know I have more patience now than I did 10 years ago. The same is true for older men. That gotta have it now, don’t make me wait sense of urgency is long gone. The older man looks at the conquest of a new relationship (or any new goal) as a long-term game, and he’s willing to wait and work for it.” Lastly, I am 53…so I know my peer group very well. I also know how younger or young men are as well. The only difference is the younger/young guys are wiser. They know… Read more »
“There’s something to be said for knowing that a man is stable and taking care of himself.” Have we not been doing this for centuries?!!! Have we not also been not only taking care of ourselves but women and families too! You make it seem as if this is something new not just for older men but adult men as well… “Older men aren’t airing your dirty laundry on social media, telling all their buddies how good you are in bed, or treating you like an idiot in front of your friends.” Men have always known how to keep our… Read more »
🙂
This is an opinion piece that just reiterates the status quo, and indeed, patriarchy. ‘Older men are “better” because they can basically be your father, so that women don’t have to grow up themselves’ is the message that comes across to me. What about growing and learning together, no matter what your age? What about taking responsibility for your own life rather than relying on someone else to make you happy? As a young man, I’m very tired of being told I won’t be good enough for another 20yrs. It is as boring, I’m sure, as women being told they’re… Read more »
@Omarbuddha, You are spot on young man. Increasing, young men like you get it. I am glad to see young men being wiser than my generation when it comes to understanding how too many women really think and act. I am 53 and like most of these 50+ year old guys, we drank the Koolaide, only to discover later in life it was a toxic potion. “As a young man, I’m very tired of being told I won’t be good enough for another 20yrs” Even then you still will not be good enough. That’s what you and other young men… Read more »