A man asks Victory Unlimited why women seem to choose his married friends over him.
This Letter to Headquarters comes from Chris. He’s 29, from Minneapolis, Minnesota:
Hello, I just found out about the victory unlimited show, and I’ve got to say that I’ve never heard anything like it. Keep up the good work, soldier! Anyway, I’m writing you to tell you about something that’s been happening a lot lately. Quite a few times over the past year I’ve been meeting single, attractive women who are involved with married guys. Hey, it happens. It’s lame and it’s wack—but I can accept that it happens.
But, what just really got to me was what happened last week. I was at an upscale party that our law firm was hosting and I met this woman who was a guest of one of the paralegals. I was with another male colleague of mine when we met, so both of us were hitting on her——-which is a hell of a thing because my colleague is married. But I didn’t put his business out there because I didn’t know how far this married guy would take it.
Well, it turned into somewhat of a competition between him and me. All things being equal, both of us were pretty evenly matched. We’re pretty much tit-for tat in most areas—–looks, money, suaveness, boldness, and sense of humor. Although, I think my sense of humor is a little sharper than his.
Anyway, while we were both talking with her, I noticed that I had the edge, and she was about to leave the party with me but suddenly changed her mind AFTER my colleague finally said out loud that he was married, but that still didn’t change the fact that he thought she was the most attractive woman there. Well, for some strange reason, those must have been the magic words, because shortly after that——-she told me it was nice meeting me and then they both got up and left together. I was just sitting there shocked as hell.
Then the woman from the paralegal department who invited her saw them both leaving, so she came and sat next to me. She told me don’t feel bad or take it personally because her friend tends to only date married guys. I turned around and asked her why but she didn’t give me an answer. She just shrugged her shoulders and went and rejoined the party. Yo, V.U., don’t you leave me hanging too, can you tell me what makes a single girl prefer to date married guys.
Victory Unlimited writes:
Chris, it looks like what you’ve just run into is an available woman that’s got a thing for unavailable men, which makes her totally unavailable to you—a single man. This is an odd scenario, isn’t it? Single, attractive women who chase married men are a single man’s nightmare. And the more attracted to that girl that the single man is, the scarier and the more confusing a nightmare situation it is.
Why do I say that? That’s because to most single men, especially single men who are out looking for something more than just sex or a one night stand—these women are totally uninterested in them regardless of who they are or how much these men have achieved in their lives. Most of the time, single women who go for married men either consciously or subconsciously like the idea of being in pseudo relationships—relationships that don’t have any potential of requiring them to make any real commitments to the men in return.
Forget those lyrics that you heard from listening to old Beyonce songs:
These women don’t want you to “put a ring on it”. No, if you tried to give these chicks a ring—-they’d “run from it.”
Why do they do this? Well, there are many reasons why single women go for married men instead of single men—but today you will be briefed on just the top four. Read this, learn this, and commit this to memory for the purpose of protecting your heart and for the purpose of saving yourself some angst in the future.
The Top 4 Reasons why Chicks have a thing for guys with Rings
Some women go for married guys because they didn’t know the guys were married when they first met them. In cases like this, the women are usually lied to or somehow tricked by these men into thinking that they’re single. When this happens, most women should get a pass. It’s not really their fault. But the day they DO find out that these guys are married, and yet STILL continue to choose to hook up with them is the day they get that pass revoked.
Some women go for married guys because they’re women of questionable ethics and moral standards who don’t want a committed relationship anyway—they just want a man sometimes—not all the time. They usually just want a man for certain things—things that they get some kind of self-gratification from. They usually date married men for money or sex. They’re into married guys to take, not to give. They ain’t in it for love, they’re in it for convenience.
Some women go for married guys because they’re Bomb Level Babes—explosively attractive women who want to see just how “bomb level” they really are by seducing and stealing married men from their wives. Married men are the ultimate prize.These women are predators who hunt for the fun and challenge of it. But on the real, for them, it’s really just a power trip.
And Number Four
Some women go for married guys because they’re women who have such a low opinion of men that they think they’re all the same. To these women, there’s no difference between a married man and a single one. So because they don’t really have any positive expectations for any long term relationships with men, and because they no longer entertain any hope of ever having a man all to themselves, they don’t really see any reason not to date a married man
Now, we could spend all day diving even deeper into each of these four reasons, but we don’t have that kind of time—so I wanted to at least brief you on the essentials of what you need to know. Chris, the girl you were targeting at that party is probably a babe that belongs in category Number Two.
The reason I say this is because if your onsite assessment of the situation is correct, and you and your married coworker really are roughly equal in terms of your attractiveness, charm, and financial status—and she was flirting back with each of you guys equally as hard—and you didn’t make any dumb, attraction-killing mistakes while you were talking to her—AND her whole focused shifted off of you and onto the other guy the moment she found out he was married—then you better believe that this chick is the type that compartmentalizes men so she can use them for certain things and for certain times.
Nine out of ten times, she’s a high maintenance woman who is more about getting what she wants rather than giving a guy what he wants. That is, unless, of course he wants something from her that she already happens to be in a mood to give—and it’s a convenient time for her to give it.
Regardless, I’ll bet she probably was gorgeous. However, you really have no choice but to suck it up, forget about her, and keep it moving. Your mission is to keep soldiering on until you find a woman who is worth your time and is available for you and interested enough in you to want to spend the time it takes to get to know you.
Also, if you still have any nagging doubts as to what kind of woman she is, remember what her own friend told you about her after she left you to go hook up with that married guy. She basically told you point blank that her friend has a HABIT of hooking up with married guys. So spare yourself drama, further rejection, and frustration by taking heed of what she said to you.
And lastly, the Hardcore Truth is this:
Whenever a woman shows you by her actions what she really wants—pay attention the first time, and go ahead and believe what you see.
Originally appeared at Victory Unlimited Show