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It’s everywhere, the word “trigger” has become a velvet rope around sensitive emotions. Some more liberal circles have felt it helpful to prepend their Facebook posts with a “trigger warning” describing the content of what is to follow as having a potentially re-traumatizing response on the reader.
Offline, this comes up when someone in conversation may say, “I’m really triggered right now,” using it synonymously with upset.
Triggers are everywhere. They can arise in any situation even when supreme care is taken to avoid being offensive. That makes sense, we live in a complex and difficult world to navigate.
Originally, the word trigger pointed to a deeper concept of emotional intelligence. It was a metaphor for a small action that caused something bigger like a gun shot or a mousetrap snapping. But it seems something subtle shifted and the original meaning has been clouded.
Emotional Responsibility
In our current state of this clouded dialogue, when someone says, “You triggered me”, many are placing blame on the other person or situation for “making them” feel bad. This make sense in a view of the world where communication is absolute and meaning is always accurately and correctly conveyed and precisely interpreted.
Unfortunately, we do not live in such a world, and any model of communication that bypasses a person’s interpretation of stimulus and language doesn’t accurately reflect reality.
Consider that each listener is responsible for creating their own meaning of the words, glyphs, body language, sounds and symbols that enter their awareness.
Don’t get me wrong, we have done an astounding job at creating agreement regarding the meaning of words and phrases. Our use of language effortlessly pours forth expertly. So effortlessly that it feels like breathing. So expertly that we forget the gears that spin quickly behind the scenes to make communication work.
Looking under the hood we see something that is perhaps self-evident: The recipient of the message is also the interpreter of the message. One person, in essence, performs two roles. We might fail to notice our role in interpreting communication and making meaning—it exists nevertheless.
It is in that making of meaning, that interpretation of words and symbols that emotional states subsequently arise. Whether the feelings are joyous, neutral or upsetting, all emotional charges follow our interpretation. The interpretation, of course, is derived from the initial “input” of language and/or another stimulus.
Understanding that we possess the power of interpretation, it becomes possible to shift our triggers, as well. Instead of being the end of a conversation, they exist as the uncovering of a path toward healing. Instead of being a dead end, they are a gateway.
The opportunity lies in observing what was triggering and moving through the feelings, traumas, and stories you have about it until fully until it is resolved.
The nature of triggers is that it’s always personal. Not everyone has bad reactions to the same things. Even the some of the darkest evils of humanity still exist as a function of our interpretation.
Taking responsibilty for your trigger as personal, allows you to stay empowered and not place blame on anyone else.
Owning your trigger, is a highway to speedier and cleaner resolutions. It keeps your mind and body engaged, looking at how you can grow rather that expecting the world to be a way it isn’t (a major cause of suffering). Owning your triggers doesn’t seek to externalize the pain or blame someone else for it.
The Coddling of Victim Consciousness
The Uberculture, again, especially the more liberal expressions, bestow great sensitivity onto those who are hurt, upset or wronged. This compassionate impulse is a beautiful expression of human empathy.
However, if that compassion to avoid adding insult to injury is where the conversation ends, we are doing the ‘triggered’ person a grave disservice by not treating them as the powerful and resilient human being they are. We dishonor their personal power and silently rob them of the opportunity to transform their trigger by backing off just when things get good.
A trigger is an opportunity. It doesn’t FEEL good, but like so many opportunities to grow, the feeling is just revealing a new area to work on so that it CAN feel good.
Growth Through Pleasure
In the Jewish faith, we see images of “iron sharpening iron”. In Christianity, there are clear examples of seeing refinement through struggle and fire. Through Buddhism, we understand that life is suffering.
All of these statements focus on the trigger, so to speak. They point toward the uncomfortable, the difficulty, and the struggle. But there’s another way to frame spiritual growth. Instead of focusing on the difficulty, imagine we are returning to our natural state of bliss and it is through becoming aware of something that does NOT feel blissful and then, doing something about it that this occurs.
This is “spiritual growth” in a nutshell. It’s not all that mysterious or glamorous. In some ways you could argue that it’s not even that spiritual. Nevertheless, it’s at the essence of why people grow to become the best versions of themselves – because something about their life does NOT feel like it is the best, and that it’s worth transforming.
Every Trigger Is an Opportunity for Bliss
If you are the one who is triggered, search deeply for what feelings are arising and why. This journey, when welcomed is a return to bliss. If someone else is triggered, love them and know that at some point they may transform the discomfort into a powerful opportunity to move toward more bliss as well.
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Photo credit: Raúl Nájera on Unsplash
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