Why are men terrified of smart women?
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Ever wonder why the Star Wars universe of old, Fight Club, most Tarantino films, and almost every most popular action or sci-fi film has and has had so few women in them? Men like it that way.
Men are scared—terrified, even, of smart women.
A study published in the “Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin” carried out by researchers the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University, and the University of Texas, Austin has confirmed the following:
- 105 men were first read a hypothetical scenario involving a woman who either outperformed or underperformed them in a Math or English course and then made to imagine them as a romantic partner
- men in the study favored the women in the hypothetical scenario who showed less intelligence than the ones who were smart
- men had less desire to exchange contact information or plan a date with women with high intelligence
- men also felt “feelings of diminished masculinity” around smarter women
- men are attracted to the idea of dating intelligent women but don’t like the reality of it
- men’s attraction to certain traits in women can be directly affected by how realistic a romantic prospect their potential lover is
- men find the prospect of dating intelligent women intimidating
The second part of the study showed that men got cold feet when they were asked if they would date such a woman in real life.
Cold feet, or cold brains? What’s up with these men?
Good Men and Women reading The Good Men Project, what do you say?
The Independent reported on this study first.
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Photo: the euskadi 11/Flickr
Ugh, what is this junk science with no numbers to back it up? Show me the data, the tests, the graphs and statistics so I can judge for myself! What was their sample size, how did they control for confounding possibilities/variables? I’m a little skeptical about the validity of these claims since they’re so vague and broad. As for this issue, I think it’s possible men seem to find intelligent women intimidating because they have been conditioned by society to have to “trick” women into liking them. You can’t trick someone smarter than you. I think men also see intelligence… Read more »
So… maybe I’m missing something here, but it looks like the authors interviewed 100 college-age guys (the scenario of women outperforming them in the context of science/math “courses” as opposed to a workplace or professional setting) and then used that data to draw sweeping conclusions about the entire population?
Ok so I am a “smart woman.” My IQ was tested in high school and it was 145, for whatever that is wortth. My sister tested 150, and my dad says he had an IQ test as a kid that put him at 165 (genius level). So we are a smart family, Yes, men have been scared of me, frequently, But the truth is that one of the downsides of being very “smart” is that you are easily bored by people. So most of the men who were intimidated by me, I wasn’t interrsted in talking to anyway. It gets… Read more »
Becca
An IQ of 145 that is high!
Money in the bank, a successful international consulting gig, a second language working on a third, never married, middle aged, short guy that no longer cares – not frightened of intelligent woman, just not in the mood to trade my freedom, independence and moblility for lies, games, and pedantic traits of passive aggressive b.s.
They aren’t. They are annoyed with arrogant women, which is the root and spring of all the “Where have all the men gone?” articles written by lonely women.
“Ever wonder why the Star Wars universe of old, Fight Club, most Tarantino films, and almost every most popular action or sci-fi film has and has had so few women in them? Men like it that way.” Do women not watch action or scifi films? There is a competing theory espoused by some on the MRM and it goes like this there are very few acceptable ways to depict women as flawed. You can’t have character development of women because you’d have to depict them as flawed or inept and we can’t have that can we? In this age of… Read more »
Ats because they are doing what everyone “thinks” they should be doing, living by, and molding themselves around the concept of female approval. With that, they have no tool with which to impress said woman…and by basing the premise of masculinity upon the alter of femininity, they allow such to damage said masculinity. I’m not sure on that because the concept of faltering masculinity based upon the intellectual development of the female is about as alien to me as is the unicorn. My wife is amazingly intelligent, receiving double promotions on two occasions, graduating a the top of her class,… Read more »
So, you’re saying your wife’s intelligence makes her your ideal trophy wife? I say that tongue-in-cheek, but hey, could you imagine if you said that, how dumbfounded the reaction would be from most women? LOL!
Thanks for the laugh, Anthony!
We are a strange bunch, we humans.
Interesting … Let’s reverse the roles and turn back time to the 60’s and 70’s. If any of this “men are afraid of smart women was reversed and it was women are afraid of smart men, what do ya think the feminists would and did say? The difference between then and now is that men didn’t have many options like being a stay at home dad much less a stay at home husband (which they can’t do now) Back then and now for that matter, a man who chooses to not work is/was a bum. On the other hand women… Read more »
Tom
I have NEVER heard a woman say , or seen any indications that women are threatened by men that are more interested i raising a family than having a career. NEVER! NEVER NEVER
As long as He stays within traditional gender roles…. You’re right……But cross them into sacred mom zone territory…..Acting as the primary parent while male….. Just watch the fireworks……see the women defend that right of a mom to be primary with dad relegated to helper status…..watch the stay at home mom’s trash your wife as less than.
Trey1963
I understand what you mean even if I have never witnessed it myself nor have I
met or known any man that is the stay at home day from the first day his child was born.
But I know of several women that prefer a man that sets his family first and not his career. It is a dream man in my eyes…..
I wonder. How many men equated intelligence with increased rationalization, which they may have viewed as a masculine trait. Maybe the problem was they didn’t view these women as caring / feminine enough.
“Ever wonder why the Star Wars universe of old, Fight Club, most Tarantino films, and almost every most popular action or sci-fi film has and has had so few women in them? Men like it that way. ” Overwhelming majority of soldiers are male, overwhelming majority of street brawlers are male, overwhelming majority of career criminals are male. The most fictional story would be a female-dominated cast in an action role. It’s like having a movie of a meeting of stay at home parents and seeing mostly men, it’s completely different to real life. Writers take elements of real life… Read more »
This touches the core of classical male/female sexual attraction. They ask a group of men to look at pictures of women, some of which are more attractive than others. The men find these women attractive. They then bring in (face-to-face) the attractive woman, in the same room as the man who found her attractive and tell him that she has tested higher than him on an IQ test. He is now less likely to view her as a partner. Same sort of test, but switched: they ask a group of women to look at pictures of successful men, some of… Read more »
“He is now less likely to view her as a partner.”
The question in my mind is why. “men find the prospect of dating intelligent women intimidating ” It could also mean it’s more work and not worth her being pretty. Guys find women who they perceive to be high maintenance less attractive surprised no one except the researchers.
John
What about a high intelligence makes a woman high maintenance?
Realistically she is an asset for him ,for security, challenges , and will not be boring ( well some very bright persons are still not fascinating ).
If she is really smart that is a qualification to help him solve problems that will arise in their life. Together they will be a stronger team. But he has to keep up and can not just decide things just because he is the man…..
“What about a high intelligence makes a woman high maintenance? ” “But he has to keep up” High maintenance means that she’s a lot of work. He’s going to want to keep her happy. We all agree with that. Her interests may be out of his league and in the back of his mind is his belief that she wants someone who us her intellectual equal. We all agree in that. For men like myself, I need a woman who’s kind. That fixes and covers a lot. Women might be the same way, but men don’t believe it and women… Read more »
Maybe I was not clear. The design of the experiment is too contrived. Ordinarily, people do not discover another person’s intelligence by having yet another person provide test results to both and in front of each other. The set-up is contrived to push subconscious buttons and is not reflective of reality.
The opposite example of a woman being told by a 3rd party that the man standing beside her is more attractive than she is would have a similar result.
It’s a dumb design with no valuable output.
The common wisdom is that intelligent women are social climbers always seeking the bigger better deal. Men generally look for the most painless rejections. I find it funny that the same women who complain about these things are the same women who give fake phone numbers, & contrived excuses to the men that approach them on a regular bases.
Not all men are, but you can see a lot of them who grew up in traditional roles of father/provider and look for women who fill the subservient role of earning less. So to see a woman who can build her own career, pay her own bills, own the house…everything to prove they don’t “need” a man…it puts guys off because they lose their “power” of the man rules and provides… Rather I’ve known and dated a few exceptional women who are all they are and can choose to have a man in their lives and it’s been wonderful to… Read more »
Are men afraid of smart women or are men afraid of not being to fulfill their expected gender role as the provider if she is smarter and possibly makes more money?
Danny I think you are on to something here. Maybe men are not that afraid of highly intelligent women as a stay at home wife. The challenge may be when she has better degrees,or get a better job than him and earn more ,has higher social status. But actually I fear men see intelligence as = masculinity and when they have to face a woman obviously brighter day after day , it tells him that he is not bright . . A very bright person will also solve problems ( or understand how to solve )of practical nature(in the home)… Read more »
KIM, I think that, in general, men don’t want to be admired as much. They just don’t want to be derided, especially not on a daily basis. John Anderson already answered your question. You may also want to read Becca’s comment above. Most men will avoid “chasing” a woman who is clearly outperforming him, simply because he knows that if he doesn’t share her outlook on what’s important in life and won’t be able to keep up with her (because of diverging abilities, not necessarily that one is smarter or a better person than the other…), then she won’t be… Read more »
I married a woman who graduated with honors from one of the top universities in the US. She’s pretty darn street smart too. I’ve never met guys who are afraid of smart women- my peers tend to be smart men married to smart women.
SEEEdubya
Maybe you have no problems because you are as bright as her, and your peers are also above average intelligens.
And yes ,I have read reports saying men and women tend to marry a partner of equal intelligence.
I was going to share the things I’ve actually had them say but, suffice it to say, I think that because, for women, we see the relationships between all things that pertain to our lives, our thinking is non-stop and sometimes too fast even for us to comprehend. So, when those thoughts are “unloaded” on most men, it’s like standing in front of an open hydrant. From a distance, and in theory, on a HOT day, that’s refreshing. But men in our culture seem to desire passion in “manageable” packets they can comprehend and compartmentalize because that’s how they manage… Read more »
Your comment is the perfect bookend to Danny’s comment. Maybe us poor men are just smart enough to realize that pursuing the 21st century goddess woman is usually a waste of time. Question answered, case closed.
NowIsee: You just described the only kind of woman I’ve ever really been interested in. Far from being intimidated by extremely intelligent women, I seem to relate badly to women who aren’t. Smarter, and more successful than me? I dunno. Maybe I’m smart and successful, and comfortable enough with the ways in which I am, that I don’t feel threatened by it. I want a peer. Someone who is smarter and more skilled than me in some ways, and can maybe use my help in others. Then you’d end up with a relationship that is greater than the sum of… Read more »
Before anybody interprets that compliment as somehow condescending or (I can’t think of the word, but in a “pat on the head” sense), because I know it might sound like that, I should put it in context. I hang around with a group of friends and co-workers who are all very smart and “geeky”. We talk about tech, astrophysics, whatever. A truly wonderful woman we all know likes hanging around with us, and confided once that although she loves, and even feels a need, to be around me and my friends, she feels like a wannabe geek who isn’t really… Read more »
I love your comments Anthony.
But tell me , do you think this woman is a lot MORE intelligent than you?
Based on the comment, I don’t think she’s a geek. I think she feels less intelligent because the topic of discussion in that group is something she has less knowledge of and I would make a distinction between being knowledgable and being intelligent. I’ve met a lot of intelligent people who have never had the opportunity to go to the better schools or hadn’t been supported by their families.
No, just smarter in certain ways. She gets things that I’ll probably never be able to understand.
More to the point though, she’s been, by some measure, more successful in her career than I’ve been. I love my job, but she’s certainly made more money than me at various points (and probably does right now…we don’t really talk about it). Her success, starting at a much younger age than me…well, all of the things in life she’s done.
It doesn’t bother me. I like being able to compare notes with somebody so impressive.