Husband material. That charming men that will check all the boxes that you have in mind.
He is just a dream, a fantasy or he does really exists?
But, where to find it, in this technology era, where it seems like every man on this earth is focused on making more and more money and getting laid than having a long-term relationship?
With series like Love is Blind or Perfect Match, it seems like that kind of man is hard to find. Most of the times on this shows, man are potryed as being dishonest, liars and big time heart-breakers.
This kind of shows construct a new world were man aren’t interested in having a family.
Lack of authenticity and stability transformed the society that we live in.
Yes, people were unfaithful before all these Tv Shows. The problem is that this behavior is glamorized and introduced in the new norm.
Being unfaithful brings more views than being honest.
Seeing this on TV people are inclined to adopt this kind of behavior as ‘’normal’’.
Is no news that TV and the internet changes our mind and behaviour.
What we constantly see wll transform us. And if we watch to the ratings on this kind of shows we will see how much impact they have on society and manhood.
New rules in the new world of love and marriage:
Pretend that you are in love when in fact you can’t wait for the next text that your mistress will send you.
Living on the edge and hurting people becomes embraced.
But, let’s not despair.
Of course, we have good examples where we see verticality, strength, courage, and honesty in relationships.
Remember 90 days Fiance?
Especially the presence of Rose?
Her honesty brought her immense success.
All around the world people were talking about Ed and Rose and mostly about the way Rose handle the situation with Ed.
A princess will always be a princess and a part of the world seems to respect that highly.
As you’ve seen we have 2 directions. One direction that support and encourage being unfaithful and dishonest in a relationship and one that support being honest and true to yourself. Is a matter of choice where you want to be placed in.
Having in mind this society waves, I’ve encountered 4 types of men that will not become good husbands. (Of course if you encounter more don’t hesitate to write in the comment section).
The one that is not willing to change
‘’What can I do?? This is me, I can’t change, I’ve been for years like this’’. Recognize this phrase? Many times I’ve heard this specific line. ‘’I can’t change’’. But they forgot to complete it.
They can’t change they’re toxic behaviour, they’re narcisists patterns, because they are no really commited to have a long term relationship with you.
For the bottom of my heart, I know that people who really want a relationship, they do anything to have it. Those who are not interested will play games and stick to their old nature.
Maybe ‘’complicated’’ things are scaring them away and they don’t know how to act.
Maybe….
The one that thinks that he is the dominant person in the relationship
I’ve seen this a lot in situations where there is a huge gap between the partners. It can be financial, geographical, or even gaps created by families.
Oh, forgot to mention that gaps are created by age differences.
You feel uncomfortable and insecure around him. Is like you are not the perfect fit for him.
And he doesn’t miss any opportunity to show you that.
Of course, your feelings are left out, because nobody cares about them.
The only thing that you need to do is to be dependent on him and adore his presence and his mercy.
He is your savior who will make you feel small and unworthy.
The cost?
Your power.
The one that has high (extreme) expectations from their partner
Here are those men who push their partner to change everything and as soon as possible. I called them the ‘’pushers’’.
Sometimes they can be a real support, helping you achieve great results in your professional game, but in the long-term is not going to work.
Nobody likes to be led all the time by someone.
Nobody likes to be instructed all day long.
NOBODY.
In this case, the one that is dominated will seek love and be appreciated in the arms of a person who doesn’t put pressure on them and gives them unconditional love.
The one that can’t trust their partner no matter what
This kind of man is the worst in this category.
Living with him is a nightmare.
He will create the idea that you are always unfaithful.
Suspicions replaced trust and here we are screaming and fighting for stupid things because once again he is insecure.
You can bring witnesses, and 1000 pieces of evidence, he will not change his mind. You are unfaithful, you are lying to him, and this is the only truth that he is willing to hear and accept.
…
Want to read more? Here is my weekly newsletter👇👇👇👇
❤️Access is for FREE https://claudiaciobanu.substack.com
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: Ving Cam on Unsplash