About 800 students are enrolled at my school, ranging from kindergarten to high school. During my 13 years of teaching, I have noticed a weak relationship between parents and their children. This weakness has negative effects on both the child and society as a whole. Children who do not receive quality time from their parents during childhood tend to have lower IQ levels compared to other children, particularly those who are isolated from their parents and do not receive proper upbringing.
I have observed that many parents use an inherited parenting style, which does not value the child’s individual needs. This method, which dictates that the stricter a parent is with their child, the better the child will be, is incorrect. Parenting can be divided into four types: authoritarian, democratic, ignoring, and permissive. The parents I have observed tend to either be very authoritarian or neglect their children entirely. Both of these styles can harm the child. Neglected children become spoiled early on, while those under authoritarian control become spoiled later in life. To be a good parent and raise a well-adjusted child, it is important to adapt and change parenting styles according to the child’s needs and the circumstances.
Most parents are stuck to one parenting style
I have observed that many parents use an inherited parenting style, which does not value the child’s individual needs. This method, which dictates that the stricter a parent is with their child, the better the child will be, is incorrect.
Generally, parenting can be divided into four types:
- Authoritarian
- Democratic
- Ignoring
- Permissive
The parents I have observed tend to either be very authoritarian or neglect their children entirely. Both of these styles can harm the child. Neglected children become spoiled early on, while those under authoritarian control become spoiled later in life. To be a good parent and raise a well-adjusted child, it is important to adapt and change parenting styles according to the child’s needs and the circumstances.
At my school, about one percent of students (though not 1.5 percent) do not have a desire to learn. These senior students often disrupt the school environment and even the teachers ignore them due to their continuous misbehavior. Their complaints are recorded in the complaint register on a regular basis. This is not just a problem for these students, but also for their parents. When contacted by the school, the parents do not answer the phone. If they do answer a call from a different number, they speak with frustration and do not take responsibility for their child’s actions.
Punishment never corrects a child.
These students may have been severely beaten at home in an attempt to prevent them from going astray, but this only deteriorates the relationship of respect between children and parents. The parents have lifted the veil on this relationship themselves by beating their children. The children are no longer affected by punishment or have grown used to it, and are thus free to do as they please at home. The parents do not want to confront them.
To address this issue, both teachers and parents should be trained.
Teachers should create a classroom environment that they themselves would have enjoyed and found conducive to learning when they were students.
- When you were in this class, what you enjoyed doing?
- Were there any aspects you disliked?
- What drew you to study?
- what were the things that took you away from your studies?
- What kind of atmosphere did you like in the classroom?
- Which teacher did you like most and why?
- Which teacher did you dislike and why?
These are questions that consciousness the teacher that they should give the children an environment that they wanted or intended for their reading. When I was asked these questions for the first time, I felt crazy that I had been teaching for so many years and I did not even know about that.
Parents must be trained by all means
Similarly, parents should think about what they wanted and needed when they were young, or what their child’s age is now, and consider the following questions:
- What kind of behaviour did they expect from their parents?
- What they wanted their parents to bring for them?
- What made them happy and what made them sad?
- What brought them closer to their parents, and what caused them to distance themselves?
- What attitude of parents did they hate?
- Which of your parents’ moments made them feel proud?
Write the answers to these questions on a separate list and find these strengths and weaknesses in yourself. Eliminate all the things you did not like about your parents as a child and try to adopt all the habits you liked.
By doing this, parents can understand what their children really want and create a positive relationship with them.
If you can give the children anything, give them these moments. The moments when you feel comfortable with them, your heart is filled with love, when you forget your routine life and get lost in the world with them. These are the moments a child dreams of and parents do too. These are the moments from which the parent-child bond begins to form.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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