Shawn Henfling shares his views on the the young men of Sayreville and remembering that they are “innocent until proven guilty.”
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I won’t condemn the young men in Sayreville, NJ just yet. Conversely, I’ll not defend them either. Why is it that we, as a society, have a nasty and unsustainable habit of convicting people based simply on the sensationalized stories we see on TV and the Internet. As the great Abraham Lincoln once said, “If it’s on the internet, it must be true.” Why have we become so quick to judge our fellow man? What is it that drives us to do so despite our motto of “innocent until proven guilty”? I wasn’t always so open minded, and had a tendency to be judgmental about everything.
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Flash back to 2011, Penn State University and Joe Paterno’s final season. I recall being shocked and horrified at what happened to the victims and at the callous manner in which Sandusky utilized his connections at the University and his position at the Second Mile to cultivate and groom his targets. I can also recall with a great deal of pride the reaction of many of the students, faculty, and alumni, opening up about their own bouts of abuse or donating victim advocate funds. That pride still resonates in me today, though I find myself still, three years later, having to defend my school against unfounded accusations and outright lies. The media spewed vitriol and spiteful commentary at everyone associated with PSU and the football program. They were all enablers, pedants of the highest order, monsters who cared only for their beloved football program. It didn’t then and does not now mesh with what I know to be true of the late Joseph Vincent Paterno or some of the people who ran the program with him. Those reporting on the story needed only to expound and exaggerate every salacious detail in order to drive ratings and page clicks. Many had no use for the truth, and attacked at every turn anyone trying to shine the light of truth on the real problem.
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I began, although slowly, to examine with more scrutiny my daily news feed. I’d known certain outlets distorted facts to push a specific agenda, but was unaware of the scope. Since then, I’ve found stories written to seem factual often read more like an editorial, spewing opinion and twisting facts to tell a narrative approved for a specific demographic, consequences be damned. Shock factor and entertainment value are now what primary drivers of what we see in the news.
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We are no better than the news we see. Entirely too often we make quick and irrational judgments about people without knowing a thing about them. We tend not to stop and think that perhaps things are not exactly as they seem. We watched in horror as the Duke University Lacrosse team had horrible accusations lobbed against it, and consistently see people convicted of wrongdoing exonerated sometimes decades after the fact. We must learn our lesson, and begin living by our own credo.
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I want to reiterate that I am not, in any way, condoning the behaviors described in the reports coming out of Sayreville. The alleged acts are despicable, especially from young men who are old enough to know better. There is obviously something going on there, but I’m sure, as is always the case, not every detail has been released, nor every truth uncovered. I feel deeply for any victims of sexual assault, and believe any culture that encourages it needs to be changed. On the other hand, we are dealing with the lives of many young men who, no matter what they’ve allegedly done wrong, are deserving of the opportunity to defend themselves.
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By prematurely casting judgment upon all involved, we inadvertently cause other problems. An entire community is divided, neighbors have pitted themselves against each other, and the real problem is being overshadowed by the loss of a few football games. Remember always to look objectively at what’s going on and try to see things for what they are. Never adjudicate without having looked carefully at all sides. Remember, someday it may be you or someone you love staring out at the lynch mob, awaiting the ax of the executioner. Remember too that sexual abuse is a lifelong struggle to overcome, and always try to empathize with the victims. They need understanding.
I think part of the reason you get these reactions are because I don’t remember reading any outright denials. In the Duke case, the accused outright denied the allegation and there was no supporting physical evidence. I was a lot more hesitant to think of them as guilty. The comparison is probably closer to the Hofstra case. No one denied that there was sex. I was inclined (though wrong) to presume the men guilty. I admit this is gender bias not because I would assume the men guilty because they are men. I would assume the men guilty because at… Read more »
If you are a man, you are automatically guilty be default. For the last 40 years we have been constantly told we are all rapists, abusers or pedophiles. We are the cause of everything bad in the world.
I think that that is taking an overly simplistic view. Over the course of the last 40 or 50 years with the rise of the civil rights movement and the women’s lib movement , there have definitely been changes. Challenging the status quo can be on comfortable for those in power, what is necessary for a more equal society.
Who is more likely to get child custody in a divorce? Not to mention alimony and child support? Why is there a fatherhood.gov site for the White House, but not one for mothers? If a woman assaults a man, what are the odds of her going to jail? As for civil rights, it doesn’t matter what color you are if a woman accuses you. Read The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar or Men On Strike by Helen Smith. The fact that these were written by women speaks volumes.
I think these guys are probably guilty, but I’ll remember how many people made vicious idiots of themselves over the Duke lacrosse accusations. You “goodmen” should remember that too.
I remember Duke all too well, which is why I brought it up. In our rush to condemn, we rarely stop to examine the evidence or consider both sides of the story. It is important to let people do their jobs without the interference of the screaming masses in this case.