I went to church last week. Not because somebody was getting married or baptized. Not because somebody had gotten dead. Not because somebody wanted me to go with them. I went just because I wanted to go.
I was brought up in faith communities as a child. At the age of 64 years old, I thought it was time to attempt a return.
I thought that church might be a good place to feel like a good man. It was. I imagine it will continue to be. Church or temple or mosque or shrine or a contemplative walk in the woods, is not however where I am suggesting you go. If you want to know what it feels like to be a good man, go to goodmenproject.com. Do it now before it is too late.
Now I don’t mean go to goodmenproject.com to worship. I am not the devil whispering in your ear. I am not telling you to go to a website instead of some church. I also have nothing to sell you. I make no commission if you go. I request no donations. My redemption is not effected by whether or not you follow my lead. I just get off thinking that something I wrote may point you in a good direction.
When you go, you may find you want to repent because you feel so ashamed. You may feel very pleased and eager to grow more in the direction your manhood has been taking you. You may feel angry at the whole web site. That is okay. Just keep coming back. You, too, may be a good man one day.
Spoiler alert. When you go, you are going to find that there is no such thing as a good man. What there is, is good conversation on the matter, no matter what kind of man you are now.
You will find that it is all about manning up. That is, being a good man is about being a good verb, rather than being a good noun. You will find yourself considering your various skill set tools you have in your tool box. You will find yourself considering which need to be sharpened or better maintained. You will be encouraged to lay down your weapons and take up arms again, if the situation for war arises. You will come to know how to better discern when that is.
If you want to celebrate your sexuality, spirituality, philosophy, relationships, love of nature, politics, or sports for starters, its all there. If you are curious or troubled by any of these I’m sending you to the right place.
Warning, if your idea of being a good man includes being xenophobic, you are not going to like it at first. What I mean by that is if you are a hater of women or men who are not like you, you might not feel too good about your first visit. It may take some time and a slight opening of your mind.
Now, if you are strongly opposed to bad acts that are committed by men far more often than they are committed by women, your opposition will be reinforced. You will find yourself encouraged to judge less and understand more in order to be more effective in doing a little or a lot more about these problems than you are doing now. Warning, you very well may discover that you are part of the problem and may need to act a little or a good deal differently.
If you don’t like the label, Men, don’t like it on lavatory doors, don’t like it on people because you prefer Human Being, we are not on different pages at all. If you have been enveloped in a culture where you have never looked at the world or have never been looked at by the world from a gendered point of view, come anyway. You may have so much to contribute. The goodmenproject.com masculinity revival show is under a big tent.
Contributions in the form of likes, comments and posts are strongly encouraged. If you want to tell your stories about when you asked yourself if you were a good man, you will find no better pace to tell it. The Good Men Project was founded for that purpose. Your contribution could make a big difference in the life course of a fellow man.
You will be disappointed if you were expecting clear directions with easy-to-interpret graphics as to how to build yourself into being a good man. You will find many stories told by a rainbow of men and women that can be teachings. You will find no “this is the truth and the light” preaching.
You will not be reassured that one size fits all good men. You will have to customize what you wear from the site to your unique self, to get the best fit. That may take some time, but you might find the the goodmenproject.com brand guarantees a better fit than what you’ve been wearing and that even poorly-fitting clothes can make you a better man right away.
The next time I go to church, I won’t say a prayer for you. You will have to rely on some other force to be with to get you where you should go. But, do go, if you want to be a good man.
My guess is if you are reading this, you are already there and already know that you are in a good place.
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