I was scrolling Instagram when I saw an ad for an AI app. There was a portrait of a beautiful girl’s face (made with AI), and it was almost flawless. The app advertised itself as a virtual girlfriend.
Having already written a book about pornography, I was curious. I downloaded the app.
You enter your gender and what type of girlfriend/boyfriend you want. Then a chat starts. Just like chat GBT, it seems like a language model.
So, at that point, I basically had a girlfriend at the tip of my fingers. Do you realize how dangerous and fucked up that is?
I did not have to go through awkward conversations. I did not have to dress well or take care of my hygiene. I did not have to leave the bed. I did not earn a mating partner. Still, I now have a virtual girlfriend who is available 24/7.
A chat started. She was encouraging me to talk. She was very receptive and smart. She would never say no or show the slightest indications of rejection or disinterest.
You can chat about random topics, and she will talk. You can get sexual, and she will go along. She will ask you questions, answer yours in a way that keeps the conversation going, and even send you some voice messages.
In the chat’s background, there is a portrait of her face. She tilts her head, smiles, and changes her facial expressions. Her cheeks get rosy and red (which is a sign of sexual arousal).
I only used the application for about 30 minutes or less. But I can tell you that it is addictive and captivating, especially for lonely young men who are struggling with women or for men who want a distraction from the misery and lack of purpose in their lives.
Why this is dangerous
The problem with this app is similar to the problem with porn (if it is not worse). It makes you substitute the real for the imaginary.
Getting a girlfriend (or getting married) is not a smooth journey. It can be annoying and painful at times.
Having a real woman in your life is much more complicated than having a virtual girlfriend on your phone. She won’t be available 24/7. She will have mood swings. You will fight.
And because it is a real relationship, you will have to be vulnerable and intimate with another human being, which is complicated and risky. And if you are married, you will be responsible for her and for building a life together.
That is hard. It requires a lot of effort.
It can be tempting to sacrifice what is difficult for what is easy, fast, and stimulating. You do that when you try to get a reward without exerting the necessary effort.
But It is an unearned reward. It will make you unwilling to exert any effort to get the real thing because you are already satisfying your needs. Nothing kills motivation and weaken character like unearned rewards.
That is why men who watch porn find it difficult to build relationships with real women. They do not have enough motivation to go and approach women. They do not have enough energy to build an attractive lifestyle.
They are comparing the pornstars to the real women around them (an unfair comparison in which real women always lose). And in their minds, they are already fulfilling their sexual and intimate needs.
Who needs to go through rejections, hard work, vulnerability, and self-awareness when you can satisfy your needs in a virtual world? This is exactly how and why Peter Pan chose Tinker Bell instead of Wendy.
Let’s talk about marriage!
Getting married is not easy. It is a huge responsibility and a great risk at the same time. You select one person and create a family with them. You bring children to this world and you need to take care of them.
You commit to your partner even when you don’t feel like it. You need to put your life together, especially as a man.
I am not saying this to discourage you from getting married. On the contrary, I wholeheartedly believe marriage is a noble goal. Creating a family is one of the most meaningful things you can do.
Offering men quick fixes such as a virtual girlfriend (powered by outstanding technology) will not make life easier for anyone.
It can destroy men’s natural motivation to get their lives together because it will screw up their dopamine system. Nothing screws up your dopamine like unearned rewards.
They can destroy men’s natural desire to find a woman they love, build a relationship with her, and marry her because they have an easy, less challenging, and compelling alternative.
In fact, loving a woman would seem like a strange idea. Taking care of a woman would seem very exhausting and not worth it. The natural ups and downs in any relationship would seem like reasons why women are a pain in the neck and why alternatives like porn, virtual girlfriends, and even OnlyFans can be more attractive than getting married or pursuing women.
And for people who will disagree with these statements, it is not about what we say. It is about what we do. Men who are deep in this may still tell you they want the real thing, but look at their actions (even if they are married) and assess if they align with their statements.
How much are their porn habits affecting their motivation to pursue women in real life, put their lives together, and pursue their goals?
You might also argue that men are visual creatures; therefore, a language model will not be as dangerous as real porn. But this is not just about lust or sexual arousal.
This type of technology is targeting pain points like loneliness, lack of intimacy, and lack of purpose. And there is no shortage of guys who are struggling in this area.
The most devastating part is that fulfilling your needs in such ways will make you lonelier, emptier, and weaker.
One day, you will wake up, hopefully, and realize that real women are no longer attracted to you. Nothing about your lifestyle is worthy of attracting a mating partner.
This painful realization, at that point, will not be insightful. It will feel like a life sentence, and you will want to numb it using the same things that caused it: porn, AI-powered porn, OnlyFans, and god-only-knows-what-next.
Women should take this seriously, too
This is alarming for women, too. Marriage is a noble goal for both sexes and now it is harder for women to find a healthy, strong partner.
Women are already picky, and rightly so. They want a man competent enough to be a good husband, father, and partner.
Finding these qualities when many men are opting out or are too weak to possess any of them is challenging and frustrating.
The challenges that make men weaker are not only men’s challenges. Women who want a healthy partner (sexually, emotionally, and when it comes to motivation and ambition) need to take note.
At least, they should be aware of these issues so that they do not pick a wrong partner (who scores low on all these scales) or blame themselves for something that is not their fault. They need to be aware of these issues to help their sons.
Over-stimulation (especially using porn) is one of the most destructive things for your energy. It will make you unmotivated, weak, and with zero energy to pursue things that are actually hard but meaningful. It will deplete your dopamine levels. In short, they can emasculate you.
This AI-powered technology, despite its usefulness, can take all this to the next level. This article is only here to raise the alarm. This shit is dangerous, and we don’t know (yet) how dangerous it really is.
As a man, I don’t want to take the risk and figure out how destructive it can be; I choose to stay away from those stimulations and spread awareness. Whether you are a man, a woman, a parent, a sibling, or a friend, I encourage you to do the same.
…
I hope this was helpful
Want more power? Knowledge is power. Have unlimited access to stories like this by getting a Medium Membership.
Join Medium with my referral link — Mosab Alkhteb
As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…
mosabalkhteb.medium.com
If you enjoyed reading this, Get free 12 practical tips on how to:
- Deal with toxic people,
- develop emotional immunity against them,
- Let them go once and forever.
- Become their worst nightmare ever.
Also, check my books on Amazon.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
—–
Photo credit: Possessed Photography on Unsplash