I do three things every day:
- As soon as I wake up, I get into a grateful mindset. Before I even get out of bed, I approach the day with thankfulness that I am here and that I have people who care about me.
- The second thing I do is try to tell myself something positive as soon as I see myself in the mirror. Instead of making a negative comment like ‘I wish I looked different’ or ‘I wish I weighed less,’ I say ‘I’m so happy that I’m here today.’
- The third thing I try to do is something physical. Some days, I don’t have a chance to work out, but I do have a chance to walk around the block. So I make sure I take advantage of that. Even if it’s just five or 10 minutes, it makes such a huge difference with my mental health throughout the day.
I’ve found that another factor that can affect our mental health is how we are dressing.
About three years ago, I was going through the toughest time in my life. My marriage was not doing well and I basically had to make a decision to stay or go. (I chose to stay.) But during that time, I was not enjoying my business or day to day life at all. I was kind of just showing up. Then I realized what was helping me get through the day was the simple act of putting on a suit on every morning. That was the only thing that I had that was giving me the confidence to take on the day.
A few months later, things started getting better after we got into counseling and therapy. But the thing that really opened the door for me to start putting the work in was dressing well every day.
That is what really led me to want to start Inherent Clothier. We help men build a fully functional, versatile wardrobe that awakens inherent inner confidence and at the same time, we’re providing mental health resources on our social media and partnering with local and national organizations, such as Movember, who are helping to build awareness around men’s mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. Together, we are stronger.
Men’s fashion has been severely negatively impacted during the pandemic as more men began working from home and meetings moved to Zoom. However, if you’re doing these Zoom calls, this is probably the first time employers and your peers are seeing you in full HD. People don’t realize coworkers are actually getting more of a closeup on your clothing on Zoom. If you’re talking to somebody for two hours, you’re definitely going to start noticing what they’re wearing. Dressing well can really help you get through the day and make you feel better.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people tell me “I put on a suit the other day just to put it on because it made me feel good.” You dress well with a suit and it really just helps your confidence and boosts your mental health.
To further enhance men’s confidence, I also partnered with Janie Bryant who designed clothes for “Mad Men” and has become part owner of my line. Janie also believes dressing well can boost confidence and lead to better mental health.
For my fellow MO Bros out there, wear what makes you feel confident, especially as you’re growing out those mustaches. There’s an awesome transition period, especially in the first week, when you’re growing a moustache, so keep dressing well and making sure you feel good about yourself. Our research has proven that when you feel confident about how you look, that you can help to overcome things like depression and anxiety.
When men come to my website, I want them to really have a customized experience where they can get a completely personalized experience to customize a suit and really get to know you. It’s been the most rewarding thing because my mission is to get men to just talk about what they’re feeling.
I just want them to be able to open up about their feelings because I really believe that men’s mental capacity is almost in the stone ages. We don’t let men do anything that involves emotion. The expectation of masculinity that’s on us, as men, is just unhealthy.
We can still do all those amazing things, but sometimes we don’t want to. It’s healthy to talk about our feelings. My mission is also normalizing having men talk about their feelings when they’re not doing OK. We just want to start the dialogue and keep it going.
Photo Credit: Movember