Awful kisses stick like old chewing gum. You still remember the awkward tension between the two of you. Was it too moist, too sticky, or too forceful?
Hopefully, your partner did not tick all of the three boxes.
Kisses are tricky. A good kiss is like a good house — easy to spot but hard to find.
It’s time to wipe the awful first kiss experiences out and create better ones.
We all have this one worse first kiss that stuck with us. Mine was my very first kiss: An unpleasant spin-the-bottle experience. I still remembered how he pressed his lips against mine and uncomfortably tilted my head.
A few uncomfortable experiences followed that taught me way more about kissing than the good ones. It’s funny that bad memories sometimes stick. But this is not about me. It’s more of a general guide backed with science.
. . .
What science says
Science recommends you to turn rightwards for a romantic-kiss:
But this isn’t the only recommendation science offers you.
- According to a study, 53 % of women prefer a shaved men.
- Women consider kissing more important to men and are less likely to have sex with a partner without kissing first.
- Evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup claims that the well-being of a relationship is linked to the frequency of kissing.
- Kissing helps you to relax because it releases the hormone oxytocin.
- Kissing determines your relationship and shows you are a match.
Overall there are many reasons to kiss. It feels good but more importantly, it is good. It relieves stress and anxiety. A 2016 study concludes that kissing improves your self-esteem.
I remember being incredibly nervous before a kiss when I was younger, mostly because I didn’t know what I was doing. I often asked myself:
How do you do it the right way?
There are many wrong ways to do it.
We don’t want to add to this pile. We rather create good kisses that are worth remembering. Let’s look first at the how.
. . .
The four steps of a kiss
A good kiss happens within four steps.
- Preparation — keep your mouth clean and your lips smooth
- Intrest — eye contact, a glance on the lip
- Determination — once you lean in for a kiss, you got to do it
- Kiss — when your lips hit
Every first kiss should follow these four steps. The kiss is the end product of a prepared attempt at intimacy. How do you know the other person is interested in kissing you?
. . .
Read body language
Read their body language. They are most likely comfortable kissing you when they allow you to touch their wrists or neck. It’s a rule of thumb, but you should pay attention to their facial expressions, too. Do they feel comfortable around you? Do they like to be touched, or is there a sense of discomfort in the air? What are the facial expressions? Those are just a few things you should take into account when reading body language. But there is more to it.
Body parts you should pay attention to:
Eyes
Lovedestination.com names droppy bedroom eyes and lingering eyes as two signals that someone is likely to kiss you.
Body posture
Are they leaning into you? Are they comfortable to be physically close to you? Body posture signals you a level of comfort.
Moving closer/touching you
Another indication they might be into you or at least up for a kiss. Let them touch you before you move closer.
Lips parting/licking
Lips are one more thing you should pay attention to. Do they bite their lip? Chew it? Lick it? Part them?
A few more things to take into account
Timing…
When the time is right, the kiss feels better. Try and pick a private place. So it is just you and them.
I agree. The best kisses are the relaxed ones. Take your time and enjoy. There is nothing worse than rushing into a kiss.
Place…
What are the best places to kiss? It does not take a dark cinema or a french bridge to create the romantic atmosphere you’re thriving for. Just pick a quiet moment and don’t worry too much about the place. It is more about the person, right? As long as you make them feel special, you are good to go.
. . .
Consent
Consent should be given and not taken. Ask nor consent.
Questions like those are much appreciated and less awkward.
- “What do you think about a kiss?”
- “Lets go for a kiss?”
- “Do you want to kiss me?”
- “Do you want to go first?”
If you don’t want to ask, let them go first and follow the 90/10 rule. Move in 90% and let them give you the last 10%.
. . .
What happens after the kiss?
A first kiss creates a lovely atmosphere, but how to deal with it. Let’s assume you both liked it because you ticked all of the boxes before.
Give them space
Move gently backward, smile. You can still keep physical contact. A swift brush through a hair, a light padding, or a sweet smile. The best-case scenario is when they lean in for a second kiss.
Ask them how they liked it
That’s for the brave ones. Asking how they like it or how they feel about it, puts you and your performance in the spotlight, but it also gives you a great inside.
Go for another kiss
What about a second round or a third? One kiss is great, but two kisses are better. Maybe they want more, or you can’t stop yourself.
Conclusion
Kissing is the first step towards an intimate relationship. Especially women put a lot of pressure on the first kiss. Be kind and gentle.
Kissing right? Absence of rightward directional turning bias during first kiss encounters among strangers.
—
This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Unsplash