On any given day, my kids will go crazy for any given reason. I documented on such day and how I tried to handle the crazy.
I had the wonderful opportunity to once again spend a whole day with both of my beautiful daughters as their mother spent the day “bringing home the bacon so we can eat it.” While the experience of being alone with them is reward enough, I like to think of things to write about on these occasions. Once I wrote about how I still got nervous being out in public for fear the girls would turn into monsters (literally and figuratively) and this time I was able to conjure up an idea not 30 minutes into our date.
This time I decided I’d write out all the things that one child said that made the other one want to eat their mouth for having said it. For example, The Youngest says “Mommy” while Mommy isn’t in the car and so The Eldest yells at her for five minutes, shouting veiled physical threats for such an indiscretion. Sprinkled in there (mainly in The Youngest’s column) are things in general that made them angry—these are situations where inanimate objects set off hour-long tantrums.
From The Eldest:
- The Youngest singing the ABC song when The Eldest was singing the ABC song.
- Parenting action: Ask The Youngest to not sing the ABC song.
- Result: Anger that The Youngest isn’t singing the ABC song.
- Us saying bravo to her ABC song performance too early.
- Parenting action: Say Bravo to The Eldest’s ABC performance as soon as the last word comes out of her mouth.
- Result: A five minute fit thrown because I said bravo to her ABC song performance too late.
- Her moustache was too red.
- Parenting action: Add a tint of blue to her drawn on handlebar moustache.
- Result: Surprisingly, success, but also a reddish blue makeup stain on her face in her “moustache spot.”
- Her not yet two-year-old sister said her name with what she deemed a French accent.
- Parenting action: Explaining that her sister knows zero French and almost the same amount of English and that her accent is as much Spanish as it is French.
- Result: Her sister still talks too much.
- Her knee hurt so much it needed a bandage.
- Parenting action: Put on a bandage.
- Result: She didn’t want a regular one, she wanted a My Little Pony one. So, yelling for 20 minutes.
- The My Little Pony one didn’t stick to her leg when she bent it.
- Parenting action: Mostly tears from me once I realized there was not going to be an outcome in which I wasn’t going to be yelled at. Also, taping the My Little Pony bandage to her knee.
- Result: More red where the tape was but not dark red so no yelling. Consider this a success.
- She had the exact same amount of Penguin crackers as her younger sister.
- Parenting action: Give her a handful more crackers and told The Youngest that I had to give her sister more because her stomach had more hungry monkeys in it. Also, gave The Youngest more crackers when The Eldest wasn’t looking.
- Result: Biggest success of the day.
- She couldn’t drive the car to go get Mommy.
- Parenting action: How can you not let your 3-year-old drive in this situation? The view on people’s faces as we drive by them with an apparent phantom driver is too much for any dad (or mom) to pass up.
- Result: We’re all ok but our insurance is going waaaaay up.
From The Youngest:
- She didn’t have her schmoosh (soother or pacifier or whatever you call yours).
- Parenting action: Didn’t give her her schmoosh because it’s crazy to give in to your kid every time they ask for something.
- Result: She continued to cry very loudly and gave me many dirty looks.
- Her Penguin cracker fell too far away from her seat while driving in the car.
- Parenting action: I tried not pulling over in the car for the first 10 minutes but eventually realized nothing was going to change and pulled over and got her Penguin crackers for her.
- Result: She quieted down. Another solid parenting move.
- She didn’t have her schmoosh.
- Parenting action: Why not give in to the things your kids are asking for? What’s the point in trying to prove to them you’re more powerful? They’ll just cry forever and make you a crazy person. I gave her the schmoosh.
- Result: She was quieter. And she gave me many smug looks that suggested (correctly) that she had won.
- Her blue cup of milk didn’t taste the same as her red cup of milk.
- Parenting action: At this point I began to realize that The Youngest doesn’t actually have any real problems she just creates issues to show that she owns me. Milk tastes like milk served in either cup. I switched the cup.
- Result: More smug looks and enough milk drank that I had to change a diaper.
- She wanted to use the potty even though she doesn’t yet know how to use the potty.
- Parenting action: I look forward to the day when both of my kids are potty trained but The Youngest isn’t there yet. Still, it’s good to see her trying so we sat in the bathroom, all three of us, for 15 minutes while nothing happened.
- Result: I changed another diaper.
Originally posted at Puzzling Posts.