What does a woman REALLY mean when she says she needs time away to think? Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt reveals some clues…
My girlfriend told me that she needed time away from me to think? What’s that about and what should I do?
Answer: Thank you for your question… her behavior seems to really have you concerned, yes? This question has a lot to do with what JUST happened that led her to say this.
For example if you just told her after dating for a year that you have a child… OK, this might make her wonder why you didn’t tell her before, or is she ready to be a step mom etc. Taking time to think would be a natural response.
Perhaps you just lost your job and have decided to downsize and live in Costa Rica for a year and write… she’s used to you living in a large center near her work and family and she’s not sure if your partnership can weather that change. She’s needing time to contemplate if your values are still aligned and if this is a gift that will take your relationship deeper, or ultimately destroy it.
Now if this behavior is coming out of the blue to you, then this says that she’s either not courageous enough to have a heart to heart with you, or you haven’t given her reason to believe you’re a good enough non judgmental listener to have this conversation about what’s bugging her. Either way, an expansion in your communication skills is being called forth here…a wonderful gift to learn to sit in the fire, open your heart, speak your truth with kindness and honesty, not fix the other or control the situation… and ask questions about what’s possible for the two of you given the challenge put on the table.
THIS CAN BE TERRIFYING!
Especially when you come from a history of being emasculated, or she’s coming from a history of being made wrong or disregarded.
Assuming this came out of the blue for you, I’d invite her to have a conversation with you about what’s working in your relationship, what’s not working in your relationship, what does she want to create with you in the relationship, and put a deal/ agreement/ arrangement/ support structure in place that will move you both toward your goal of what you’d like to create.
This kind of conversation can get heated fast, so if she really means the world to you and you really desire for this relationship to thrive, it’s a common practice for me to hold sacred space for couples to work through issues in a way that both feel heard, honored, seen and heard. Magic is possible. True miracles. Yet we have to sit in the fire of honestly, in the unknown, out of control, heart open… and then the Universe has room to support you.
Support for courageously sitting in the fire, staying connected and speaking your truth with your girlfriend can be found in my complementary report and video series called www.GetHerToSayYes.com. And support with my privately can be booked by emailing my [email protected] requesting to book a Strategy Session so that she doesn’t just dissolve from your life… wanting ‘time to think about it’ and instead leave you abandoned wondering what went wrong.
Anything is possible.
Let’s dive in and see what it is… great love and blessings, Allana xoox