Question: What do you do if you think your husband is gay and doesn’t realize it? We’ve been married for over 25 years and he doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore. I’m so sad. I’ve very pretty and sexy by the way. It has nothing to do with my appearance. My libido’s a lot higher than his unless he’s gay and in denial.
Answer: I’m so glad you reached out because there is something definitely going on… Let’s figure it out. You sound confident in your own sexuality, your beauty, your healthy libido. And you sound frustrated and disappointed that your husband is not desiring you whatsoever.
It is completely possible that he is gay and doesn’t know how to have that kind of vulnerable transparent brave conversation with you, let alone with himself.
There are other possibilities as well my love…
Perhaps your beauty and sexuality intimidate him?
Perhaps you are physically a hottie yet energetically not as soft or inviting as he requires to claim you?
Perhaps there’s been some major disappointment, shame, emasculation or abuse in his life that he hasn’t processed that is in the way of his own sexual life force energy?
Perhaps you have reacted to his lack of sexual advances, capacity or techniques in a way that makes him not want to try anymore?
I agree that somethings up, but before we conclude his gender preference… Have you spoken to him about this?
Over the past 25 years has it been safe to discuss uncomfortable or even scary topics?
Do you actively practice nonjudgmental listening and feel absolutely safe sharing your authentic truths without being judged by one another?
There’s a fantastic practice in chapter 5 of my fourth book, 7 steps to Manifest Your Beloved While Staying True To Yourself, called ‘dyads’. It’s a specific way of communicating that creates extraordinary intimacy, safety and security while being transparent and vulnerable with one another.
I highly recommend the two of you begin communicating right away with dyads. Perhaps you can create a 21 day Luscious Connection Boot Camp… and discover the depths of what’s going on in a way that honors you both.
You can download the first chapter of my book, both audio and text, absolutely complementary at www.AllanaPratt.com/7steps and if you enjoy that, I recommend you get the whole book 🙂
Alternatively, we could all connect on Zoom for a discounted $97 Introductory Strategy Session so that I could create a safe, non-judgemental, unconditionally loving space to communicate depth and truth, so we could create a solution to your situation.
You can register at www.AllanaPratt.com/connect .
I look forward to supporting you both in having a thriving sacred sexual relationship.
Living in frustration and uncertainty is pure suffering that worsens over time.
Yes, it takes courage to drop into clarity and honesty, yet from there… true thriving can exist for you both. I look forward to hearing what you choose.
All my love and blessings, Allana