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Communication
I’ve been saying it for years but when it comes down to executing–communication is vital. In the past, I’ve dated some individuals who didn’t want to talk. When I mean talk I mean, discuss what is bothering them, thoughts and feelings. I learned that this is a no go for me having dated someone who would give me a stone wall for weeks and not communicate. I’m urging everyone to get to the bottom of the root of your non- communication issues if you have them. It’s not too late to meet your partner in the middle of the road. Healthy communication involves a dance–an exchange of information—a back and forth. A sharing of ideas, thoughts, feelings. I will not settle for sh*tty communication ever again after being gaslit and stonewalled for weeks at a time. You are worth more than to settle for that kind of behavior as well. Be a better human. Rise up and know your worth. You are worth knowing with all of your faults. You are worth loving with all of your weaknesses.
Connection
It is vital to share this with your chosen partner. Forging a connection in the edge of technology can be both easy and troublesome. What you are looking for are people who share your vibe, people who can resonate with, individuals who you can be your true self around. Finding people who “understand” you fully and accept you for who you are without judgement are invaluable to feeling connected. Before now, I was with partners who shared my geek interests but they didn’t really nerd out with me. I wanted that connnection where we would express our nerdom together. Geek references and all. Being able to put your true self out there, weaknesses et al is so liberating. It is worth the time it takes to invest in getting to know someone. Of course, connection is not limited to being nerdy, it is more so the ability to showcase your personality. Being with someone who accepts your quirks and continues to like you.
Cooperation
I’ve been with individuals who weren’t at my same level albeit connection, capacity to love and the ability to work together toward a common goal. With this being said, this taught me that I wanted someone so much, to reciprocate my effort and show up for me like I was showing up for them. If you care about someone, giving a d*mn goes without saying right? I’ve always wanted to be with someone to accomplish great things no matter how massive the task. You should be able to cooperate with the person that you are with. The person who you chose should be helping you achieve your goals in some way. Having that extra support, validation and companionship goes a long way. My greatest joy in my relationship now is knowing I get to come home every day who thinks I’m pretty awesome. Above all, don’t settle. No matter what.
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This post has been republished on Medium.
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