This video had me in tears at least four times. I felt so seen.
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“We don’t want to be told what book to read, what seminar to go to, what therapist we should see. We want you to show us how painful it is when we don’t show up for you. The trick is don’t disconnect from your heart when you’re telling us this. Let us feel it. Let us feel how deeply you want love. Let us feel how deeply you want OUR love.”
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Hmmmm. Food for thought and deep discussion. Some critiques: it undercuts men’s strengths as positing them as a bit monochrome. Also: So, he’s sort of saying “go be in your masculine all day to make it in the patriarchy, but when you come home to me, surrender, surrender, surrender and let me lead you anywhere.” We have to switch our masculine on and off to make it in the patriarchy and intimate worlds. He’s just not that nuanced in his characterization of masculine and feminine. Or maybe I just know really evolved men. I do like where he talks about… Read more »
Hmmmm. Food for thought and deep discussion. Some critiques: it undercuts men’s strengths as positing them as a bit monochrome. Also: So, he’s sort of saying “go be in your masculine all day to make it in the patriarchy, but when you come home to me, surrender, surrender, surrender and let me lead you anywhere.” He’s just not that nuanced in his characterization of masculine and feminine. Or maybe I just know really evolved men! I do like where he talks about women’s moving as power. The story of Emoress Theodora of the Byzantine Empire…started as a prostitute and then… Read more »
Hard to surrender to a man who is married to you and sleeping
With others. Enough said! I don’t swing that way!
“So when you make a cup of tea, and we’re next to you, be aware that how you move may change our whole day.”
What on earth? How will it change the whole day? Rather than thinking about the man and offering to share/make a cup of tea for him too, women should be self-conscious about how they move?
“It wasn’t something in the way she thinks, something in the way she moves.”
And an explicit emphasis on bodies over brains and hearts.
PS Kudos to Yertel above.
Yertel
“Surrender”, that says it all!!! All the bla-bla-bla just to justify the word…..SURRENDER!!!!
Agreed with the above poster. This video really didn’t speak to me at all.
This is so so true
John – Your heart is in the right place. But you are getting something FUNDAMENTAL really, really wrong – and this is a great example of the bad outcome we have had in this arena over the last 10 – 20 years for men in relationships. So let me ask you (and by extension other male participants in this ongoing dialogue): Do you PLEAD for basic human respect – or do you DEMAND it? I don’t plead for basic human respect, and I never will. If you and I are EVER going to do any sort of karmic business in… Read more »
Well said!
@ Yertel I agree with what you said. I’d like to point out something. He tells people why men don’t , male guilt. I don’t know that I agree or if he’s talking to certain types of men (feminist, grew up fatherless, SAHDs, etc.) or if he’s projecting his own belief system into assumptions. Keep in mind that he’s talking to financially / professionally successful women and there may be an issue with a financial dynamic. I completely agree with you that people should demand basic human respect. You might feel that he’s shifting that responsibility from the men to… Read more »