The question was kind of funny. The answers were eyebrow raising.
Women and their periods. The almighty, all natural Aunt Flow. The elixir of life and the ultimate symbol of womanhood. The medically defined terminology of the embodiment of a woman’s fertility.
The burdening hassle once a month that sends women to CVS for $8 boxes of tampons and men to their soap boxes. The cause of controversy at home, death in others and the derailment of lives for young women everywhere.
Because that which is not understood is rejected, right? At least, that’s how we’ve proven ourselves as a human race. Given half the nation’s ignorance, periods have been a lifelong burden for women everywhere and an unnatural natural phenomenon to men. Scorning them, condemning the word to a status of something closer to “that which is not named,” women have spent centuries fighting for their right to bleed.
Whether it be the consequences of missing their periods for two months straight or having to apologize to their boyfriends for it, women’s lives have become dictated around this tiny, yet widely controversial shedding of the uterine lining. (Sorry men, but we’re old enough to speak in medical terms now, I may even drop the word “moist,” so watch out.)
We live our lives in fear of its absence and curse its hassled arrival, lamenting ruined outfits and countless nights out. We listen to our rights on not getting it and the consequences of wanting to get it again. We watch men scream over televisions, condemning our bleeding walls to Hell.
But why? When did men get a say on our bodies? When did men get the right to talk about something that they don’t understand. When did it become OK for people to get on TV and scream opinions about something they know nothing about? Is it because, as as a friend once put it, “[they] don’t trust anything that bleeds for a whole week and doesn’t die”?
As charming and witty as that concept is, I can’t help but wonder if he would say that same thing, if he, too, bled once a month.
It’s an interesting notion, men getting their periods. Blocking aside the hilarious image of the actual event, try to let the idea settle in your mind. How would the world be different if men were fertile? If they had the ability to carry life and bleed for a week straight? As I overheard a female comedian once put it, “If men could get pregnant, you could get Plan B out of ATMs.”
However, hilarious and imaginative as that idea is, she’s not far off with this one. It’s the kind of statement that makes you laugh because of the weight of its truth and the absurdity of that truth. Because if men got their periods, there would be an entirely different view on the apocalyptic event.
Just think about what it would look like… Companies would offer 401Ks and abortion liability insurance. There would be free clinics on every block, right next to Starbucks (have your morning coffee then get your Plan B). Birth control would come in the mail once a month with no subscription necessary. And you can bet your soiled feminine pad that the government would pay for tampons.
There would be safe sex and harassment seminars at every company and every man would make sure both he and the woman were wearing protection. There would be maternity leaves of a year to two, or until the father feels ready to go back to work. Hospitals wouldn’t charge astronomical prices to deliver your child or kick you out because you don’t have insurance.
There would be dispensing machines of free plastic (not cardboard) tampons and pads in every public restroom and Plan B would be subsidized and readily available 24 hours a day. Men would get to work from home for the week and there would be red velvet cupcake and dark chocolate delivery services.
And this whole “pro-life” argument would be put to bed without a second thought. That’s right, the religious fanatics, the slimy politicians and the conservatives would fade back into the dark, unknowing corners from which they sprang.
Because men can’t mother children, no sir. Men would be getting pregnant every day. Men would be overpopulating the earth at a rate that would blow China’s statistics out of the water. Men just couldn’t get pregnant. They need to work, make names for themselves, shake hands with important people.
They can’t settle down and have kids when they aren’t ready. They need to have sex, but they shouldn’t have to deal with the consequences. They deserve the right to get their period again, to live an unburdened life. That’s all that would be to it. No more questions, picket lines or fanatical debates.
They wouldn’t stone men for getting pregnant. No, the Bible, Quran and every other religious text would now be read “between the lines” and those who were pregnant because they were raped would be not only pardoned, but get to see the day their assailants are condemned. There would be severe punishment against rape and maybe, just maybe, men wouldn’t do it anymore.
Maybe rape would finally end because if a man got a period, he might know what it’s like to be a woman, who is indeed, just another bleeding human being.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo Elite Daily
About the author: Lauren “LMoney” Martin grew up with one goal: to be the first woman engineer. Upon finding out there already were women engineers, and unable to pass Calc 1, she chose to study the beautiful and honorable art of advertising. After adverting proved uninspiring, she attempted a career in acting which was over before she could get on stage. And when she failed at everything else she decided to become a comedy writer.
If men got periods they would be women…
Sean, using the “time of the month” to describe a period is insulting and something that has been used by men to put women down. Do you really think that a woman can’t function normally during her period? I bet you call it “being on the rag”. Matt says that blood coming out of a woman’s genitals isn’t attractive to anybody. I ask you, how many women walk around letting blood run down their legs, having forgotten underwear and a tampon/pad??? Besides, who cares what you think? Over half the population bleeds every month whether you like it or not.… Read more »
Please, do not patronize me. My degree is in public health. I would suggest reading this GMP entry from a few years back that I teamed up with Ozy on (https://goodmenproject.com/noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz/oral-hpv-more-prevalent-among-men-than-women/) for a summary of the HPV vaccination situation. For a more in-depth look at the history of medical experimentation, the best place to begin is with Beecher’s Bombshell, the paper that started the study of bioethics. (Begin with page 3 here: http://whqlibdoc.who.int/bulletin/2001/issue4/79(4)365-372.pdf) Or, for a less technical introduction, we might begin our discussion with these few paragrpahs from Wikipedia, chosen for their illustration of how gendered violence in medicine… Read more »
Why is this insulting and unfunny article posted on Good Men’s Project?
What’s the relevancy?
This had a good start and a solid premise, but like a lot of the people commenting, I note a distinct note of bitterness ringing through, especially in the latter sections. Not that she doesn’t make for an interesting point about how society would differ if men had periods and could get pregnant — heck, I can see some of it actually being true. The delivery, however, is lacking. What could have been an insightful invitation to thought experimentation became a tirade that undermined the entire (I assume) point of the article, which was to spark discussion. TLDR: When your… Read more »
The history of gender relations in medicine is far more complicated than this. There’s ample precedent pointing to women’s health issues being given more attention than men’s, like the breast cancer vs. prostate cancer deal (and the denial that men can develop breast cancer), or viewing HPV as something that only causes cervical cancer. Furthermore, the complaints that men are seen as the medical default are laughable when you consider what being the default entails: a history of experimentation, often nonconsensual, and nearly always targeted at powerless populations like soldiers, prisoners, and children. There’s a reason we know a great… Read more »
It frustrates me when people, such as the author, put revulsion to periods purely down to sexism, like yeah that’s part of it but there’s blood coming out of genitals, that’s not an attractive sight on ANYBODY.
Let’s just bash men…. I don’t think this is what GMP should be about! Can we please stop this negative viewpoint and stop feeding the idea that there is a battle between men and women… THERE ISN’T!
I actually checked out their site directly, it’s even worse on the site, elitedaily.com. there doesn’t seem to be anything worth reading, just a bunch of biased and prejudiced people all sharing their opinions with each other and patting each other on the back. Thank god they only bag my groceries and make sure my hamburger and fries are piping hot.
Oh and Luzy, If it was the opposite, and a man wrote this article(and the places were switched), there would be a huge outrage from woman about it, guaranteed,
I’ve been seeing these articles from Elite Daily more often now on GMP, and for the most part, the people who write them need to get in touch with reality. I haven’t seen one good article come from them. This one is just over the top, I thought for sure it had to be a joke.
I found it funny; and it is a conversation that we women have sometimes juts for the joke of it. Men use a woman’s period to show how “superior” they are over them. Bleeding shows “weakness” and it is considered “non hygienic”. There are religions that make women go through ridiculous rituals when they are on their period. Yes it was snarky and overly sarcastic, but so what? Really why talking about a woman’s period make so many uncomfortable?
Let’s write one asking If women were able to get a boner… That may be fun to read 😛
Luzy if this was about women there would be outrage. Sexism is sexism. I dont know a single man who would use a womans period to say he was superior. Most of my friends are fathers and have enjoyed the miracle of birth through their wives.
A comedy writer? The fact most people in the comments are genuinely not sure if this article is a failed attempt at comedy or the writings of a very bitter mislead person with a victim complex should tell you that you are doing it wrong! This was not funny at all so I can only assume the latter. In that case, it was offensive and very ignorant… are you talking about the same men who have been forced to go to wars and fight for women as well as men? The same men that worked their asses off and built… Read more »
Gloria Steinem has taken on this question in a much wittier and wiser way. Try “If Men Could Menstruate.”
I’m familiar with Steinem’s article, and frankly it’s just as misandrist and insulting insulting as this garbage.
Third lady chiming into say: this article is too snarky and the dismissal of male rape is way not cool.
No, things wouldn’t be different, they’d just be reversed. If men were burdened with periods and pregnancy, women would occupy the space that men currently occupy, since they would have to trade their excess labour for men’s fertility. So basically we’re having a conversation about, what if men were women and women were men?
I was thinking the same thing. If men were responsible for child birth the entire role system would be changed. This is just too much bitterness and I am disappointed that it even made it onto this site.
If men could get a period, nobody would hear about it, because we wouldn’t complain and up the asshole factor* of our personalities 2000%…. now THAT’s tongue-in-cheek, and I think an appropriate response to the insults in this article.
P.S. Do you think the author wrote this during her “time of the month?” Sure comes across that way….
*Standard Disclaimer: Of course, not every woman is like that, don’t get too offended, it was in jest, I apologize for my acerbic humor, etc., etc., blah blah blah.
This article is full of hyperbole, sarcasm, and insults. I’m not sure why it’s been included here.
James is right, it’s not the period that is the problem, though it IS what the period stands for that gets us into trouble. While i think some of this article is true, i had to stop reading because, like some of the others, it just kept getting snarkier and less making me “laugh because of the weight of its truth and the absurdity of that truth.”
As a male survivor, I found the rape references completely ignorant and a bit sexist. The underlyig assumption is that male survivors have it easier compared to female survivors and that a period would be the great equalizer. First, male survivors do not have it easier. Second, periods are not the problem.
Can we PLEASE STOP THAT NONSENSE NOW? Thanks!
Agreed. That was absolutely vile.
Or you could just live in a civilised country. In the uk there are free tampon/pad dispensers at work in many companies, pay dispensers in pub restrooms (I know from having done building survey work). The NHS makes Abortion available where required and prescribes oral contraceptives which are free of charge for the low paid and essentially subsidised for everyone else. Condoms are given away at sexual health clinics.
Asked a friend of mine that question, and her response was, “We would have to kill every one of you off and become lesbians.”
I presume this was “tongue in cheek” but I found it insulting.
I thought it was insulting too Tom.
Yes by the end I wasn’t sure if it was “tongue in cheek” or slightly bitter, spiteful?
Well, interesting concept.
Yes I found it insulting too. Pretty typical ‘man-bashing’