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Kids have no difficulty asking for what they want, whether it’s a toy, an electronic gadget, a snack, or permission to sleep over at a friend’s house. It’s not easy to deny their request when it’s primarily a matter of lacking the money.
Not every request is unreasonable, and nothing beats seeing your kids happy. But sometimes you have to say “no” for their own good.
Saying “no” to most fads supports their future independence.
What kid doesn’t want to be accepted by peers? Even if he or she belongs to a group that’s regarded as unpopular, your youngster still wants to fit in with somebody. Fitting in means wearing the right clothes and owning the right gadgets, but that doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything. It’s actually better for children and teens if you don’t.
As this author shares, “People who chase fads constantly adjust to conform to the latest trend. They can get to the point where they have exchanged their own identity for the identity of those they follow.”
On the one hand, if you always give your kids what they want because it’s popular, they’re less apt to learn to identify and honor what they want for themselves. You’re training them to make decisions based on social approval instead.
If that’s all they know, they’ll live other people’s lives and values, and risk ignoring their own passions.
Saying “no” to electronic gadgets has become a safety matter.
Now that kids’ toys are connected to Bluetooth and WiFi, saying “yes” without investigating the item could put your kids at risk. Today’s children don’t know a world without the Internet; WiFi-ready gadgets like tablets, smartphones, and smartwatches are fixtures of their daily lives.
Although these devices can be used to help keep kids safe, they can also pose a serious security risk. Discussing a study commissioned by the Norwegian Consumer Council, Security Baron points out security flaws in the Gator 2, Tinitell, Viksfjord, and Xplora smartwatches for kids.
These watches are prone to account takeover or location spoofing and can be used as listening devices to eavesdrop on the conversations of their owners. The cameras can also be remotely activated to take photos.
The NCC blames the manufacturers for a lack of security, but the manufacturers haven’t accepted responsibility. So should you buy a smartwatch to keep track of your younger kids?
It sounds like a good idea. Their friends probably all have one, but that doesn’t make them safe. No matter how much your kids beg you for the latest gadget, if you aren’t fairly certain about its safety, it’s better to say no.
Smartwatches aren’t the only gadgets that can be hijacked. Anything WiFi or Bluetooth enabled has that potential.
Fads, like interests, come and go.
It’s important for children and teens to explore their world and their identity. It can be frustrating for parents when a child expresses a passion for soccer, but after one season abandons it for guitar lessons because a friend has a guitar.
When they lose interest in the guitar, kids want a drum kit next, and when that gets old, they want to be a snowboarder. It’s easy to think of frequently abandoned interests as an opportunity to teach your kids to follow through with a commitment.
But that’s a conditioned way of looking at the situation. In fact, children and teens need to explore their interests thoroughly to discover their true passions. Sometimes that means exploring the ridiculous side of fads.
Youngsters who don’t get the opportunity to explore their interests broadly can end up in a profession they hate because they never figured out what really inspires them. Instead, they drift into a career based on salary or perceived prestige.
Thus, saying no to the fashion of the day can really mean saying yes to your child’s wide-open future. The more they can develop the knack of making independent choices on their own, the better chance they’ll have of being able to live a joyful and full life as an adult.
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Photo credit: Getty Images