Everyone believes that a relationship’s romance is its best aspect. We live for romance, whether it be in a romantic comedy or a romantic novel.
Right, a partnership is no longer a relationship if there is no romance.
Then we get to how ideal romance can be for leading a happy life. Beautiful flowers.
ideal dates.
The ideal supper.
heavenly sex.
To get it right, we must be excellent human beings who provide the ideal experience.
And if you mess up, if you’re not flawless, your relationship is over.
Gees, what a way to make something that is supposed to be enjoyable and seductive feel like an impossible standard. What a snoozer.
However, it is not the issue with romance. It has to do with the reality that this idolization of romance has nothing to do with what occurs in relationships. You’re do experience “perfect times.” However, a relationship entails more “ugliness” than romance daily. If your relationship isn’t chaotic, challenging, and open, it isn’t a true one. Most realists would tell you that it won’t last if all you strive for is perfection.
These messy aspects of relationships — which have nothing to do with traditional romance — are what give them their reality.
1. Learn to accept bodily functions
People bemoan their partner’s burping. For the first time, a million times over. To be completely honest, I find it very dull when I hear this criticism. And improbable.
Come on, we should consider ourselves fortunate if the only body function that people had to be concerned about their romantic partners emitting was gas.
Every person eventually reaches the age when they can no longer conceal their bodily functions from polite society, even as adults.
Accidents happen during those times. when you are unexpectedly cut off from a bathroom’s safety and privacy and are located far from one.
As a result of having my gallbladder removed, I experience persistent diarrhea. Please believe me; I am familiar with similar situations. Although I don’t prepare for them, they do occur.
There will eventually come a time when your loved one will see, smell, or hear your bodily functions unless you intend to live apart from one another forever or never spend more than a few hours together at a time.
There is no hiding the disgusting yet necessary things our bodies perform to survive.
If this makes you queasy, I don’t understand why you choose to cohabitate.
Given that you do it, why would you anticipate that they won’t?
The conflict over birthing follows.
Ah, giving birth to children — one of nature’s greatest miracles.
2. Disgusting execution of a beautiful concept.
They haven’t taken a stroll along the beach at dusk if they believe that the physical “blood, sweat, and tears” are truly lovely. Additionally, they haven’t seen the peak from above. That is lovely. The exact opposite occurs during childbirth.
Childbirth may not appear so awful to individuals who aren’t weak in the stomach. However, that only refers to the few brief seconds before the baby’s birth.
What about the before and following?
People I know who have given birth have described to me their pre- and postpartum bodily excretions. These include fluids, albeit it’s unclear exactly which portion of their basement region they came from.
And the repulsiveness doesn’t end there.
Life doesn’t become any less disgusting when the baby is delivered. Wait until the baby is born to see your partner’s capabilities if you think they have stomach-churning bodily functions.
My nephew filled his entire tiny jumpsuit with liquid poop a week after his birth, and I watched in horror. My poor sister was unsure of which direction to gaze.
The resulting physical blunders and excessive weariness don’t help these moments or the romance in any way.
The short fuse that results from lack of sleep is not in any way romantic.
3. The dreaded action
Any film or movie that makes moving seem simple is something I detest. After moving a few boxes, the performers appear to have magically unloaded the entire house.
There is no sweating. No one appears as though today is the worst day of their lives, even though it is.
Everyone portrays it as simple and romantic. Here, you and your significant other are beginning a brand-new life.
It’s gorgeous, not disgusting.
I snapped a picture of my moving clothing when I and my husband moved into our new home in January of this year.
4. Recovery
I was physically hurt a month into my marriage, right in the middle of the passionate and heightened honeymoon stage. I was hurt at work, and I was in a moon boot for six months.
We attended more doctor’s appointments than I can recall. Regular consultations, scans, and treatments were all part of these appointments.
I was unable to move, which caused me to gain weight. I also experienced severe stress and weariness as a result. I limped during our early days.
Losing your relationship is not the goal of getting gross
Some people believe that romance ends the instant you pass gas in front of your sweetheart. By the way, what a misguided way to see relationships. Speaking of not being human or sincere
Everyone poops, farts, scratches their behind, looks awful in the morning, makes a mistake in speech, and the list goes on.
5. We aren’t faultless.
And when you commit to a relationship, you make an unspoken agreement to accept the other person no matter what they do. Okay, so it hardly matters.
Let’s accept our situation, if I may offer any advice. Love is fleeting and transient. In many ways it’s fictitious, and it’s all subjective.
Love, romance, and desire all make good things. However, we don’t live like this, where our lives are completely focused on romance.
We cannot survive without both biological functions and severe situations. We also have moments of despair where we cannot maintain our composure.
If we assume romance won’t give way to reality, it’s not living, it’s not a relationship.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash