Navigating the dating scene is very challenging nowadays. We are all reduced to a few seconds in deciding who we want to spend time with. In a way, people are seen as expendable when it comes to dating.
It didn’t use to be this way. But access to a much bigger dating pool and a generation of people not taking things “too seriously” will do the trick. The problem is that it will create a much bigger ripple effect than we know. When marriage rates decline and dating stops being something to look forward to, society stops.
But if you are looking for someone that you want to have as your partner, it may be hard to know what your options are. So I’ve summarized it into three distinct categories. The only determining factor of which one you should pick is based on your schedule. If you feel like there is nothing you can do to go out, your last resort should be online dating. And yet that is everyone’s answer these days for creating a connection. Regardless, we can see what each of these categories offers.
Online “dating”
By far the most popular type of medium to use today. Online dating has most of the younger generations hooked on swiping. It’s easy and convenient and you also get what you’re looking at. But having everyone reduced to a few pictures and a short bio only scratches the surface of getting to know someone.
That’s why the only goal of online dating is to schedule a time to meet in person. It’s already a given that if two people match, the next step is to see each other. Don’t waste your time flirting through text. Instead, lay it all out on the table. The faster you get to meet someone, the easier you get to see if they meet your expectations and vice versa.
When you spend a lot of time on your phone chatting or video calling, that’s not dating. That’s looking at a screen. People can hide their true intentions much more easily online. Since there are no stakes and you can simply find someone else to talk to. Thus, you can measure commitment by the willingness of someone to meet you in person. All you have to do is be straightforward.
During the day
In almost any location you go to during the day, you can strike up a conversation. Yet, there is only so much time people have to spend during the day. If it’s during a lunch break or at a coffee shop, the time is limited.
One thing to note is that going through the entire courtship stage is a very slow process. This is very different in the last category as you will see. But spending time during the day won’t get you to a place where you can change locations. The more you talk, the more you should be pushing for another time to see each other. This will give you both the opportunity to have more shared experiences together.
As long as there is enough mutual attraction, the next opportunity to meet will happen. If it didn’t then you know you weren’t interesting enough or attractive enough to your “date.” This goes for any kind of encounter. If you’re simply walking on the street or even if your friends want to introduce you to another friend. These all fall into the same bucket. The steps to courtship will all take longer to happen. So if you’re a romantic then this is the perfect way to go.
Night events
Contrasted with meeting people during the day, there is the night scene. This will be your bars, nightclubs and any similar situation that requires you to socialize. While it’s not my favourite, there are some advantages this also offers.
The biggest one is while the day is slow to develop a conversation, at night, everything moves much faster. People are there for the same reason. While it may seem as if everyone is there to enjoy their time with their friends, all single people are looking for a partner.
Knowing this makes it easier to go through all the stages of courtship. But it also means it’s easier for your date to also reject you. Since when you’re out, there is no lack of options, it’s very easy to move on. This is why making a good impression is so critical.
In the end, since you have to meet people anyway, I wouldn’t consider online dating as dating at all. It is only a means to get an actual date. Unless you’ve met each other from across the globe, which also doesn’t make sense as to why you would. Pick which type of location works best for you and get acquainted with it. From there you can start meeting people which whom you can develop friendships or even potential relationships.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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