When he was a tween and teenager, I used to trap him in long car rides in order to talk with him. Or rather to get him to talk to me.
Or I’d take him to dinner. Sure he’d try to tune me out in the car, but at least he couldn’t jump out. At dinner we both had to put down our IPhones long enough to pick up knives and forks. That’s when I would pounce.
Even as a kid he made friends easily, and began making videos with handheld video cameras at age 10. As Moonlair360 on YouTube and TikTok, he has half-a-million followers, and the ante is upped for me to find a way to spend time and communicate with him.
He’s still always on his phone, but now it’s for a good reason. He’s creating and marketing. So I continue to have to be creative to make a space and time for us to talk.
It’s tough to trap him in a car ride when he’s in Los.Angeles and I’m in Texas. If I do get him into a car with me when I’m in L.A. it’s perfect, becaue…traffic.
Blake Scott, aka Moonlair360, is an influencer. Before he was that, he was a kid who attracted friends wherever he went. He’s an only child with a big personality.
When he was two-and-a-half, I started checking out daycares for him. We parked at one, I got him out of his car seat, and he spotted the playground full of children.
he yelled, and took off running.
Guess I kept him home with me too long.
What’s super strange is that he wasn’t a hugely popular kid in middle and high school. Some of it was racism. His father is Black and I’m not.
He was also a good kid, and dyslexic. Good kids are seldom popular.
He was a basketball player, but not a star until college. In fact, in high school the coaches hardly played him. In college he started as a freshman and set the record for dunking that still stands.
He brings that same perseverance and dedication to everything he does. His persistence and determination didn’t come from either parent — well, maybe he got some of it from me.
He was the class clown to cope with the dyslexia, and the other students did think he was funny. The teachers not so much, although I’ll wager more than a few laughed after class was dismissed.
In spite of him being a comedian online, he’s a dichotomy. Like his dad, he often has a quiet, gentle presence that makes him mysterious. He’s 6″5′ with dreadlocks, usually dyed an interesting color. You can’t miss him. On the cruise, he nearly touched the ceilings with the top of his locks.
We’re close. Closer than most parents and children. I know because I’m a therapist, and in my long career I’ve seen scores of children and their parents.
Too many parents are so caught up in controlling their child, or have their egos so invested in their children being exactly who they want them to be, that they never see the true person who is their child.
I hope I’ve always seen him for who he is. I tried and continue to try.
Having your child be an influencer can be a challenge in other ways than getting him alone to talk with him. It’s hard to explain to hometown folk exactly what he’s doing to make money. The ways influencers make money is a mystery to most of us. Even those of us that are Content Creators.
Not that I care what others think. I care that he is happy.
We’ve had our struggles, some of which I’ve documented elsewhere. We had a blowout last Christmas that was devastating to us both, but finally, we fully aired trauma from his childhood. It was healing. Kind of like ripping off a bandage or sa cab is healing. It hurts like hell but eventually gets better.
After that experience, we decided we needed time together with no responsibilities, and without his huge collection of friends, in order to continue to share deeply and make each other laugh. It was my idea but he agreed.
. . .
When he was younger and an only child, I convinced him I was superwoman. It was necessary since I was his anchor and a single mother. I was also a martial artist and a therapist.
It’s taken until now and me breaking both ankles a year ago for him to see that I do need help sometimes. He was wonderful on the cruise. Helping me up and down the many stairs, making sure I was careful walking on the misshapen sidewalks of Mexico, and in general keeping my well-being in mind.
He wasn’t able to keep me from dancing with a group of younger folks from the cruise— his age — in Pappas and Beer in Mexico. But he took it in stride.
Don’t think we spent all our time together. He likes to gamble and I don’t. He studies it and is good at it and quits while ahead or even. IF I play — and win — I walk away. The noise and smells of a casino do not trip my dopamine levels like they do for him.
We did have dinner together most nights, hit the streets and restaurant/bars of Catalina Island and Ensenada, Mexico together, and hung out on deck together. We played, talked a lot, and generally had fun and grew closer.
Our last cruise was for his 14th birthday. This one was a few weeks before his 29th. I don’t think a cruise every fifteen years is too extravagant a way to isolate my kid so I can talk with him.
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This post was previously published on New Choices.
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