James Fell is proud to announce that he’s one of those guys who puts the toilet seat down.
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TMI alert! We’re talking about toilets here. If you’re eating something, stop.
I always put the toilet seat down. Note the author’s name: James. Last time I checked, I was male. After checking, I put the toilet seat down. Not just the seat, but the lid too. I’m pretty uptight about this, and you’re about to learn why. And in learning, perhaps there will be sharing. You may decide to forward this article to someone who is guilty of leaving the seat up and it will change them for the better. You’re welcome.
I remember getting a joke email about “Men’s rules for women” and one of them was: “Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.” I’m about to become a traitor to my gender by telling you not to accept this argument.
There are some basic reasons for putting the seat down like:
-It looks nicer and cleaner with the seat and lid down.
-Unappealing smells are kept at bay.
-You don’t have to worry about things like glasses, cell phones, tooth brushes, curling irons, electric shavers or whatever falling in.
-You also don’t have to worry about people falling in.
It’s that last one that turned me into a seat down advocate.
I was about nine years old. We were visiting my grandmother on the coast. She had been living alone for at least a couple of decades and was not used to having overnight guests. She had her house a certain way and didn’t anticipate that a young boy would use the toilet and leave the lid up.
I remember hearing shouts in the middle of the night. There was some kind of commotion coming from out in the hall. Being only nine, I was in no hurry to go out and see what was going on. Thank God for that. Then I heard my mom and my stepdad’s voices too. I listened and couldn’t make out what they were saying, but there was definitely something weird going on out there. Again, being a kid, I figured if it concerned me someone would come and get me. I stayed in bed and eventually everything quieted down and I went back to sleep.
My mom told me what happened the next day, but you’ve already figured it out, haven’t you?
I left the seat up. Grandma got up to use the toilet in the middle of the night and she fell in with a wet sploosh. And she got stuck. Her shouts brought my mom and stepdad and they had to physically hoist her out of the toilet. I understand it took quite a bit of effort. My bad.
Ever since that day if I see a raised toilet seat (that isn’t temporarily raised for a specific reason), I see wet, naked grandma butt. Well, I never actually saw wet, naked grandma butt in person, but I can sure as hell imagine what wet, naked grandma butt looks like. No man wants to think about his grandmother in this way.
So, feel free to share this article around, or print it off and stick it to the bathroom mirror. Every time someone leaves the seat up then yell out at the top of your lungs “Wet naked grandma butt!”
They’ll learn.
Originally appeared at Chatelaine.com
I usually close toilet seat and cover down when you are finished using it in order to avoid the unpleasant smell coming out of the toilet.
(Falling in? If anyone, man or woman is too dumb to check the position of the seat before sitting down, then they deserve to fall in) LOL
Old thread I realize. Very funny. As a female I agree, put the seat down. My spouse grew up in a military home with only his mom and dad. His dad ruled the roost, so he was taught to leave them up. I grew up in a home where my mom insisted that my dad and brothers put the seat down and they did. We have only daughters, so I ask the same of my spouse. Occasionally, it warrants an argument. LOL. I am practically the only person who cleans all. four. of. our. toilets. If someone else wants control… Read more »
Whatever, this is a funny and trivial issue – strong and independent women are fully capable of putting down the seat themselves.
I am somehow astonished that this can be a subject of discussion considering there are millions of people living in slums without canalisation and without sufficient water supply. Half of the world population is living in Asia where many toilets are squat type without seat and without lid.
I life the seat and she (my gf, who is a frequent guest but not fully living here) lowers it. We get a long just fine. To me this seems like just another front in the “battle of the sexes” where one side just HAS to be proven right just for the sake of scoring points against the other.
I see it as a feminist issue, what else might it be if women insist the toilet SEAT (even if there is no lid) should be always kept down for them despite a certain restroom is used by both genders. Why to give women preference for that? I fail so far to hear any voice from MRAs to insist that the toilet seat should be ALWAYS kept up for them or insisting that urinals should be installed even in private homes. Personally I do not care. If I need a restroom and if the seat is down, I will put… Read more »
Well, i was talking about the lid. Also, have you ever owned a pet or observed any animal in nature? They don’t care where the water comes from, they will drink it, regardless of them having a standard water bowl. I also said that i don’t care how people leave the seat/lid but in MY home, you put the lid down to flush and leave it down. When you flush the solid particals in your waste aspirate and land on anything and everything in the bathroom. Why is “feminist” such a vulgar word these days?? As a woman i can… Read more »
I do not see this as a feminist issue (and for the record, a “feminist” is a person who believes people should have the same rights regardless of their sex, so if you believe that….you’re a feminist), but rather a hygiene issue. Animals really shouldn’t drink from the toilet also. But like i said, i don’t care what people do in their own home, but please respect my preferences while visiting MY home. I’m curious if the men on here who reacted negatively to this post even actually like women? So viscous.
Luckily this ridiculous and trivial Western feminist issue does not exist for me and my family in Japan. We have a fully automatic washlet in our home in Tokyo. It will open by itself when entering the restroom, will switch on the lights, will wash your behind with warm water and dry it and will flush and close the lid after leaving the restroom. Japanese electronic makes it possible. It can also play music to replace some certain noise in the restroom and will switch on a ventilator to remove bad smell and during winter time it will also heat… Read more »
ah squattype toilets, wish there were seated squat toilets.
ive read that squatting is meant to be the position for efficient evacuation.
certainly ive found it true in my case, i squat sitting on the ordinary seated type crapper toilet
I always put the seat down, though I forget the cover. My bad. I’ll try to do that next time as I think there are some good points here. I do it mostly out of habit, and I guess I think it silly that some females enjoy going to the bathroom in the dark. I never got it. Sure, if it’s in the middle of the night, it sucks, but I seem to have no problem lifting the seat up in the dark to do my business… Anyways, why I’m writing is mainly an issue I have with certain types… Read more »
Really? This is an issue? Let’s be logical: Putting a seat or cover down does little or nothing to deter odor issues. If you have OCD and the site of a toilet without all accoutrements in the down position, then lets call a spade a spade. You have OCD. If you’re animals drink from the bathroom vessels, close the bathroom door. That keeps them out of the waste baskets as well and keeps the nasty Kleenexes and tampons from being ravaged and strewn around the house. If there is a politeness issue, then women should leave the toilet with both… Read more »
Well, the Dude doesn’t mind even when his is in the toilet. “The money’s in there somewhere, lemme have another look.” 😉
Neither up or down is the proper position…….the proper position is closed. That keeps pets toddlers cell-phones and assorted handheld electronics safer……any other position is just a wrong as the other.
seconded.
plus as dave says, an uncovered toilet when flushed, disperses too much particulate into the bathroom
Honestly I see no reason why somebody should bring his or her cellphone or other assorted handheld electronics to the restroom. A restroom is not an office and I can do my urgent business between my daily phone-calls. I also see no reason for texting in the restroom. I would say, this is not a good argument why a toilet cover should be closed.
Have you never gone in to just wash your hands? Not talking about use in the bathroom, just possession. Shavers, blowdryers, curling irons, water pics, etc also reside in many bathrooms…….along with splash out when flushed.
Never put your naked butt ANYWHERE without looking first, especially if a child is in the house. What if she sat on YOU while you were on the toilet and you both got stuck? Gramma got what she deserved.
Sorry for dragging the quality of this discussion down the toilet, just having a bit of fun.
I live alone but always put the seat down & cover – partly due to having been raised with 3 sisters; also, when you flush water particles go everywhere and can land on your toothbrush.
But it’s notable that although women complain when the seat is up (and will blame the closest male whether he’s guilty or not), I’ve never had a woman appreciate my conscientiousness (and I was once married). Hint: positive reinforcement works better than negative reinforcement.
If ya leave it down, how is the dog going to drink out of it? Women like the seat down because I guess they go to the bathroom with a blindfold and sit down. I have have to tell ya though, that 3 inches feels like a foot when you sit down and it’s not down. It’s amazing how your behind adjusts to a certain height.
One last thing, are we talking toilet seat or the toilet cover?
Both
If we lived together i would appreciate you putting the lid down so your doo-doo didn’t get on my toothbrush and my pets wouldn’t have a disgusting water bowl….ha. But i couldnt care less what people do in their own home…with their poopbrushes.
That was pretty funny. But I have to admit, leaving the toilet seat up doesn’t bother me one bit. What bothers me far more is pee left all over the underlid. Why can’t guys pee straight? That’s what I really want to know
Show me a man who pees sitting down, and I’ll show you a man who cleans his own toilet.
I sit down when I pee mostly because I have bad aim. Its odd to point and aim only to shoot hard left for a sec or two before the pipes even out. However I put the lid down after I am done.
I sit to pee because sometimes it doesn’t do 1 stream!
Wise words! I am one of them. And I arrived there all without a female battering the rule into me. It just seemed the obvious smart thing to do. My first GF in her female-dominated family home had a device under the toiled seat which would scream and make noise if the seat was put up. I only learned about it when she told me. It never had an opportunity to scream at me. If anybody ever attacks me as being an unmanly wimp for peeing sitting, I know what I will answer. But I’ll keep that in reserve, I… Read more »
I would if I could but my straight male friends who do so don’t want to be dragged to another country to show off their sitting down peeing skills. And it’s about time men should start to clean toilets