Why I Don’t Take Political Sides On Social Media And You Shouldn’t Either

Instead of choosing political teams, let’s have a conversation about the things that are important.

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I think of myself as a political hybrid. Perhaps it was growing up gay in an ultraconservative, evangelical Christian home. Whatever the cause, I’ve had to think through what I believe and why. A war waged inside my brain for years, confronting what I’d been taught verses my experiences. I chronicle that mental transformation in my book.

Still, while I’m a very opinionated person, I’ve decided to stop posting who I’m voting for or the political party with which I most identify. I think it’s time for all of us to stop the political rhetoric.

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When I moved to Tennessee in 1994 I was immediately taken with the South. The Southern charm of large, brick, plantation-style homes, friendly southern drawls and down-home cooking had me the first day I arrived. My family came from the mid-western/southern region of the United States so, though I was raised in California, it felt like home to me.

My house had proportionately small columns majestically placed in the front of our home, holding up the porch roof. The stark white trim contrasted well with the brick fascia and those pesky June bugs that gathered by the light at the end of each summer day. I bought a truck. It could have held a gun rack, but that’s where my wife drew the line.

Before long I went looking for a large confederate flag to hang in the garage. Nothing said “child of the south” like a confederate flag. It’s all that stood between my western upbringing and southern heritage.

“Before you do that,” my wife suggested, “why don’t we learn a little more about the South’s history?” With that, every Friday night for the next several weeks we went to our local Block Buster and rented the next video in the Ken Burn’s series on the Civil War. That was when I first learned what the Confederate flag was about. That was also when I learned how a seemingly harmless symbol quickly caused people to take sides and draw definitive lines in the sand.

With each passing year our country has grown more polarized. Racial tension has increased. Human rights issues have turned into political footballs, whether it’s equal pay for women, marriage equality, or education opportunities. Conservatives have grown more conservative and liberals have grown more liberal.

In response, we have taken up sides, brandishing our favorite political party like our favorite sports teams. We buy t-shirts, coffee mugs, lawn ornaments, and bumper stickers. In social media, we post memes and one-line statements that show support for our team, while making fun of, or pointing out how stupid the other team is. Then we host arguments, which quickly slide into name-calling, finger-pointing and even bullying, all from the safety of our own computer screens.

What is accomplished with these tactics? Has anyone ever switched “teams” because of them? Has anyone ever changed her mind because she saw a co-worker’s coffee mug? Or a bumper sticker that said, “I didn’t vote for him. He’s your problem now”?

When our position is challenged, particularly when there is no relationship with the person challenging us, we usually dig our heels in and mentally reinforce what we believe. “If he has two bumper stickers,” we might think, “I’ll buy four to show support for my person.”

I think it’s fair to say that most of us are tired of the political rhetoric. The fact that political outsiders are grabbing votes from the mainstream candidates on both sides of the aisle says a lot about what most Americans are thinking. We may have opposite ideas about who we would like to be our next president, but we’re all sure we don’t want the same political gridlock, bureaucracy and polarization of the last 15 years.

Let’s face it. The media loves controversy. Where there isn’t any, they will make it up. We, as a nation, have grown to rely on that controversy to unite us with like-minded people. We watch news shows that cater to our interests and tell us what we want to hear, while ignoring or completely dismissing the other side of the issue. We accuse that side of having an agenda, while our side is just fighting for democracy the way the founders intended.

If we want our politicians to work together and compromise, we are going to have to show them how to do it. Quite frankly, we are voting for people who act like we expect them to.

My daughter was assigned the task of watching and reporting on the 2012 presidential debate when she was in middle school. After a few minutes I could see the stress the debate caused her by the way she sat on the couch. Her body was tense. Her shoulders were tight. Her face looked anxious and she became increasingly agitated. “Why don’t they just shut up and let the other person finish their thought?!” She yelled. Even she could see that our “leaders” lacked enough emotional intelligence and maturity to have a decent, civil conversation. This was her first real introduction into politics.

So I’m done. I don’t subscribe to a specific political party, though I have very definite ideas about what I want for my country. I want a conversation about the things that bother us the most. I want to find a way to compromise or at least agree to disagree. I want my government officials to grow up and act like adults. I want the media to stop treating them like celebrities and start treating them like the workers they are. I want them to do the job we hired them to do.

While I won’t post who I’m voting for on social media, I will continue to post ideas and articles that mean something to me. I will throw out conversation starters and challenge the way people think about things. I hope others will do the same for me. I don’t need to be told what to think, but I do need to hear a different perspective.

I’m also going to make a concerted effort to not be offended by what others have to say. Instead, I will try to understand and listen. I want to understand why they feel the way the do and what it means to them. I want to remember that I’m talking to a human being who has experienced life differently than me and who came to conclusions about life based on those experiences for a reason.

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If we want to have respectful conversations, we have to be willing to be respectful to more people than just the ones who agree with us. Taking sides and posting political dogma stops the conversation before it ever starts. Personally, I’m ready to move forward. I hope you are, too.

Photo – Flickr/DonkeyHotey
Luke Russert – Both Sides Do It