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I am 44 going on 22. I began my life in 2015. I am brand new. I was born in a jailbreak. This was followed by an earthquake, a tornado, a hurricane, a tsunami and an inferno. My very life has been growing in the soil fertilized by the ashes of my own past. It is quite unusual and remarkably beautiful.
I did not have a coming of age. They gave me pills that made my body not work properly. I became so toxic, even mosquitos had no interest in me. As this seemingly went on forever; I had no clue that self-love was vital, in order to love others in the ways I deserved.
When it all came crashing down and my unknown to me, history, exposed itself; it was as if all the darkness that was me suddenly became obviously not me. This was a mind-fuck-and-a-half. I had no real way to know how to conduct myself, at least not in intimate and emotional ways.
This began a whirlwind three years of trying to figure this stuff out, the hard way. No woman I met wanted someone who did not know how to handle himself in certain important ways. It hurt terribly. I had no choice; either learn or don’t. I made my choice.
It ain’t pretty or fun, and I am still a work in progress; I find solace and peace knowing this truth.
No matter what happened, no matter what I said or did, no matter how wrong I was, no matter how terrible I behaved, I didn’t want to be that person. It took a long time and a lot of work to make myself better, and it was worth it to me.
Therefore, my love was and is always true. Even as I was unable to do things right at the time, love always persisted within me. Love is a source of ongoing fuel for striving to be the very best man I can be.
Yesterday is yesterday; I can only live today, in this very second.
Love is all I can be, and it is the most valuable gift I can give to others. This is why I still love every woman I have ever loved.
If I do this for this rest of my life, all will always be well.
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