You need love, and you fear it. You crave it, but you hate yourself for being so addicted.
It isn’t the easiest thing in life to find love. Amazing partners don’t grow on trees. True love is magical and mythical and elusive, and few of us have experienced it.
We all search for the state of euphoria that true love provides. We search high and low. We search far and wide.
The journey to true love is difficult. It’s filled with heartbreak, deceit and loss of both faith and hope. But one day, maybe, we’ll summit the peak of understanding. Love will hit us like an epiphany, and we will better understand how the world works.
True love will make you feel like you finally understand everything. No matter how crazy, hectic and random the world may be, it will suddenly make sense. You will understand that everything has an order.
And you know what? This hope for a happier tomorrow brings you more confidence. It makes you feel like you have some control over your life.
The problem is most love stories don’t end this way. Most love stories end in heartbreak. Each time our hearts break, we change. We harden our hearts a little bit.
After this happens enough times, you lose your motivation to try again. You’re tired of the pain, the broken promises and the lies. You’re tired of getting your hopes up only to be abandoned all over again. Love is a beautiful thing — that is, until you begin to fear it.
Loving is easy when you don’t understand how complex it can be. It’s easy to love when you don’t understand your wants or needs. It’s easy to love when you don’t understand other people’s hopes, desires and fears. It’s easy to love when you don’t know how to love.
Knowledge about love comes with time. When you have enough experience, you’ll be able to understand the grey area that marbles the black and white.
You’ll realize how complex this world can be, and you’ll have enough courage to allow yourself to love. You’ll know that heartbreak was always a given in life. You’ll know that breakups are complex, that you may have feelings for someone months or years after you end things.
It will take courage for you to open yourself up to someone else for the umpteenth time. Because by then, you’ll know that things probably won’t be smooth.
It will take courage to be vulnerable again, as you’re still reeling from your last break. Your scars have not faded. But these scars, ironically, can be healed only by love.
This is the reason so many people run when they finally stumble on something good. They prefer to avoid the potential for failure. They don’t want to face heartbreak. But this stops them from healing and moving on with their lives.
Once you taste true love, you’ll never stop craving it. This directly conflicts with your fear of allowing yourself to feel love. You need love, and you fear it. You crave it, but you hate yourself for being so addicted.
In a universe governed primarily by emotions, the human world is one necessarily filled with conflict and distress. The only way to avoid this conflict within yourself is to dive headfirst into your next relationship.
Love is a leap of faith. There are no guarantees. No matter how perfect you think a relationship is, it always has a chance of ending. Maybe this ending won’t be your choice; life has other ways of taking those we love from us.
Life isn’t about avoiding pain. It’s not even about maximizing pleasure. It’s about living your life the way you need to live it. It’s accepting the person you are, accepting what you really need, and going after it — no matter how scared you may be to make that leap.
It’s about having faith in yourself and believing you can make things happen.
You have one life to live. It will be filled with sadness and happiness, and you will have opportunities to change its direction.
There are plenty of things in life that are worth fearing and avoiding. Love isn’t one of them. Don’t be the person who regrets not taking a risk. Allow yourself to love and be loved.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
By Paul Hudson
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