Question: I want to create a Valentine’s Day out for my wife but I can’t pry her away from the kids! We have twin girls and just had a little boy. My poor wife hasn’t slept since the girls were born! How can I get her to understand it is ok to take a break and take care of herself?
Answer: I totally completely get this. While I only have one child, I can remember not wanting to let anyone else touch my boy and being almost crazy connected to their every move in every breath and definitely forgetting about balance and well-being, and turning into quite a cranky woman!
What I’ve learned since of course is that ‘when mamas happy everybody’s happy!’ And that in order to be a patient, playful and grounded mother and a sensual, balanced and joyful lover… I need to be sure I fill up my bucket 🙂 having children to me is a spiritual practice! It asks us to face our fears and expand our capacities and evolve our soul.
Nothings wrong here, simply that you are being invited to really acknowledge and allow where she’s at while being the masculine directive energy guiding her into self-care, replenishment and intimacy which nourishes the whole family by taking a few days away 🙂
Nothings wrong here with her either, she simply being invited to let go of fear and let go of guilt and allow her precious angels to be cared for by trusted caretakers while she replenishes and nourishes her body, heart and soul with her beloved, you!
I have a wonderful book called www.missinghandbooktomotherhood.com which is an effective way for her to feel acknowledged and heard while also being inspired to get her biggest bang for the buck with self-care. When a woman really gets that her sexual energy is sacred and it’s the energy that gives her vitality, patience and aliveness, she sees the benefit of self-care in a whole new light.
You’re not asking her to abuse her children by going away, you’re actually asking her to be an even BETTER mother to those three kids because she’ll be coming from fullness not emptiness, from patience not impatience, from presence not exhaustion.
Perhaps you can buy my book and read it to her every night for 15 minutes while giving her a foot rub or brushing her hair… While listening to the audiobook so that it’s not you but ME guiding her… It might allow her to say yes to you and to remind the two of you that you’re on the same team 🙂
It’s not unusual for new parents to do a series of six sessions with me to move through the beautiful evolution that’s being asked of both of you so that the marriage stays strong and the children live in a peaceful connected thriving home. I think it’s the best investment you can make in your family and your marriage. I invite you to apply for a complementary strategy session at www.AllanaPratt.com/connect.
I’m so glad you reached out as you are NOT alone in your frustrations and your wife is not alone in her fears or guilt… And yet so few people are willing to do the work to grow and heal and reconnect and change this for the betterment of their marriage and family…
Most people avoid, deny and pretend it’s going to be OK, others have affairs, others become roommates and then divorce. I honor you for being someone right at the get-go that’s willing to do the work. And fact I’d say you are a noble bad ass! I can’t wait to hear from you 🙂 All my love and blessings, Allana xox
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com