Question: I think my wife doesn’t like me and I don’t know why. I haven’t done anything wrong, I believe. She won’t answer my calls and when I ask her about it when she gets home, she just blows me off. I have directly asked her if she loves me, and she’s been very clear that she does not! Why would she still be with me? …I even found out she has two phone numbers! Can you please help me out!
Answer: My word, that sounds absolutely awful. Horrible. To literally ask your beloved wife if she loves you anymore… and she says no!
My love, have you taken time to feel how this feels? Have you truly taken time to consider why she’s behaving this way? Do you seriously have NO idea? I bet you might have a hunch…
Your question is valid, Why would she still be with me? …especially when you let me know the litany of uncaring behaviors… Yet I think more effective questions would be…
Why are you still with her?
What’s the benefit to you staying?
What might have happened that’s caused this?
What could you seriously do to take charge and change this?
What do you get out of being treated so poorly?
Is it possible that you’re addicted to being rejected?
Those are kind of intense questions my friend, but that’s one of the best ways I can help you.
When I work with couples it’s because both partners are willing to take responsibility, do their own inner work and grow personally and as a partnership.
Yet she doesn’t seem willing to grow or even talk about it, so unfortunately you can either put up with this mistreatment indefinitely or bless and release her and move on.
It might do you some good to live alone and take full responsibility for not only your life and your well-being but who you surround yourself with. It honestly sounds like time to do some deep inner self worth work to let go of this pattern of putting up with being mistreated.
I sense you’re spinning in your head about this in disbelief because feeling the pain of this situation and feeling the fear of moving on into the unknown might just be too much for you to handle at the moment, yes?
And yet the only way through is through.
By sitting in the fire the Phoenix is birthed.
I also get that feeling intense emotions can be super challenging which is why coaching works. I have my clients back in coaching sessions to effectively process emotions and integrate the lessons and take truthful actions moving forward.
I recommend going through a series of six sessions together. The inner always creates the outer. It’s time to do a deep dive into that noble heart of yours, heal it and find your self-worth, clarity and direction for what it is you choose to create with your life.
I’m not saying saying how she’s behaving is fair and I’m certainly not condoning her unwillingness to communicate, yet in life we have to work with the living… we get to choose where to focus our attention. It’s either in a way that contributes and expands our life or in a way that keeps us stuck and small and sad, yes?
You can apply for a complementary session with me if you’re ready to do the inner work so you can work through this intense life lesson and make it through the finish line to the other side where your life is a reflection of your joy, freedom and power. I would love to hear from you 🙂 Apply at www.allanapratt.com/connect
You deserve someone in your corner and it’s a privilege to support your evolution.
Eventually we will bless and release your wife who’s doing the best she can as we focus on healing your heart and creating a future that honors you.
One day we’ll look back and see that this was actually one of the best things that could ever happen to you. Promise 🙂
Or you’ll further wound your heart staying addicted to complaining until she does leave you one day, or as you endure decades more of abuse.
You get to choose, great man.
The moment is yours.
Huge bold compassionate love, Allana
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com