The days are getting closer and closer to the end. Time is going to stop and it will be over sooner then it started. The cliché it all happing in a blink of an eye are very true. My time with our kids is not ending but more of having far less of time. Where does one go from here?
There are four areas of our lives we as dads should not only be living but sharing with our kids on a daily basis. Personally these are struggles for me and maybe for you but if we want to really become better leaders then we will find our ‘Why’ with-in each of these areas.
The kids think I am some type of freak but in a good way. For example, in the car I have a CD case that holds over 90 CD’s. In the case has either Success Magazine CD’s or from the National Speakers Association. The point here is that not a lot of music is being listened to in the car. Motivation is important to me but there are in my opinion four areas or you can even use the word ‘pillars’ as a substitute for area.
We dads should not only teach these pillars but as I stated we should be living them as examples to our future trailblazers. The four are:
Spiritual
Physical
Emotional
Financial
Personally these are a good order for the pillars to be in.
Spiritual
My spiritual side did not truly come along into very (very) late in life. Not until I met and married my second wife Ann. She was already established in her local church before we were dating. This pillar was a major missing piece in my life, even though I went to Catholic school. Honestly my faith was more of praying I passed my classes to get my diploma.
My son has WAY and has HAD WAY more spirituality then I have at his young age. He would even go to a local church during the week. My wife’s daughters Betsy and Becca have also been part of the church. At first attending church for me was peer pressure. As I kept going and meeting other people, the attending felt as if I was in the right place.
This was one pillar that the kids taught me. Touché kids, Touché.
Physical
Having a routine of working out at least three times a week is a great pillar to have. Showing the kids why being active as a role model is even better when they can be a part of it. I used to play hockey but found my calling of coaching. This made my ‘Why’ bigger because of the need to set a better example to my kids. This is one of my areas that is my Achilles Heal. On most days I do get my 10K steps in but getting my booty into the gym, well that is another story. There are many of you who might have the same issue I have and we both need to get over it. The issue is of having others simply judge us. I like to phrase it that I am in the land of the beautiful people and should not be. Again get over it. You do want to walk your kids down the aisle don’t you? Major ditto to that.
Ok then, we should make a pact of going to the gym and reporting back as accountability partners. Let me know if you are in at my email address:
Emotional
Not sure if have read or listen to the podcast but you will know at a young age I watched first hand the divorce of my parents. My depression is like a fog, it comes in and then leaves. My fear was that my own son would have emotional struggles as I did. Do you have this fear too? Do you check in with your kids by letting them know they can be honest with you?
What I have seen and at times my observation feels more of a third party then from a dad perspective. What I mean is that when you do not see your kids everyday then you might feel like an outsider. Watching Connor going from being born to getting ready to start high school has been a wonderful celebration of a very well adjusted young man.
When I was his age there was one suicide attempt.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
Financial
This has been a learning opportunity for all of us in our family. Our kids all have that ability to make money. They do the usual of babysitting (yes all three babysit), mow (Becca has done this and pulled weeds) and even tutoring (Betsy’s wheelhouse). However the making of money was not really the issue but teaching not only the adults but the kids on what to do with money (besides putting it under a mattress).
Through our church Ann and I took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University 9 week class (only missed one). We have taken many of the tools that we learned and will and have shared them with the kids. The biggest issue as dads is to try to keep our kids not just away from debt but it is more then that. To me it is about creating a legacy not for our kids but for the (are you sitting down for this) grandkids too. If you are not good with money, then find honest help. Either by taking a course or going through the Dave Ramsey one.
Have you ever watched the movie ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’? I know you won’t admit it here but I have seen it many times. There is a scene in the movie that gets me in tears every single time. During the wedding scene the dad gives his daughter and son-in-law an envelope. Inside the envelope is a piece of paper. On the paper it is the deed to the house next to the parents.
One day as Ann and I financially free, my goal is to be able to walk into our local Waffle House and pay for meals of the customers. My business goal is to create a non-profit to help families get the money they need to help pay for their kid’s sports. Hockey has done so much for me; all I want to do is give back.
My take away for you is to use these areas to help you and your kids become a even better healthy family.
Spiritual
Physical
Emotional
Financial
I know there are other areas and would love to hear what ones you use with your family. Just remember to not to wait because time will fly by and you do not want lesson learned before it is to late. Time is something we can never get back.
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Photo credit: Getty Images