As we grow up, we often claim ourselves as mature adults while still feeling confused, doubtful, and hurt. Especially when it comes to love, relationships, family, aging, and other life issues, we feel as lost as when we were young. Here are some gentle reminders about growth and hope we learn and grow together!
True love accepts imperfections.
“Like” and “love” may seem similar, but like is often based on conditions, because find someone’s positive qualities attractive. Without spending a lot of time together to truly know someone, fantasies of who they are can sustain feelings of liking. To like someone is rather simple, maybe because of his/her nice, elegant, funny, or energetic personality. However, if there is only like without love, once the other person does not show such qualities, our emotional feelings and attention may soon fade.
Love, on the other hand, is unconditional and allows us to tolerate flaws. Unlike like, love makes us willing to choose tolerance when we see that the other person is not that good enough. Love means choosing to commit to someone even when you see they are not perfect.
Real love comes from accepting each other as you genuinely are, not just when you’re showing your best qualities.
The right person embraces your vulnerabilities.
Love can sustain a long-term relationship through challenges and changes. Simple happiness or liking is fleeting. To tell if you only like or really love someone, observe how you support each other when vulnerable.
“Like”, sometimes is just being happy together, that simple emotion is like an embellishment in life, very nice, but not as solid as love. How you treat each other when one or both of you become vulnerable, is finally the love we admire. The person willing to accept you as you are, flaws and all, is showing true love.
Love means accepting vulnerability. It is more important to accept the person who has been hurt than to find out why. Rather than judging someone for their weaknesses or wounds, love means embracing their vulnerability with compassion.
We all have insecurities, fears, and pain. Therefore, we need an understanding of our imperfect humanity, not harshness. By accepting our own and others’ vulnerability, we can build deeper connections based on care, not judgment.
Love will treat each other gently when help is needed.
Every couple will face difficulties, while people who can only share the joy and not hardship are not experiencing real love. Even if two people usually get along very well and have many happy times when they are in love or even after marriage, people who can only share happiness and not suffering are undoubtedly not experiencing true love. True love means caring for each other especially when times are tough. Love is shown through understanding and supporting each other, not just enjoying the good times.
Heal through honesty and self-compassion.
We can’t choose a life without wounds, but we can choose how to heal ourselves and create a new one from our wounds. We cannot erase the past or avoid being hurt, but we can choose to renew ourselves with gentle honesty. Address pain with self-compassion, not self-criticism. Learn from struggles rather than berating yourself for them.
With empathy and honesty, we can grow from wounds instead of being defined by them. Healing is an ongoing practice of grace, not perfection.
In the end, love is about unconditional acceptance and commitment, not conditional exchange or ephemeral happiness. By being gentle with ourselves and others, we can heal from old hurts and grow into who we truly are. Follow your own path in life, not the demands of others. With self-compassion and honesty, we can emerge from confusion and find our way!
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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