Guys, it’s possible to approach and date a ton of women without ruining your reputation.
In my role as a dating coach, that’s exactly what I teach men to do.
A lot of men like the idea of approaching many women to improve their flirting skills, but they don’t want to ruin their reputation while doing so.
- They’re scared of being labelled as a ‘creepy pick-up guy’.
- They’re afraid of harassment accusations.
- Some simply don’t want their friends making fun of them.
But it’s absolutely possible to enjoy an abundant dating life without risking any of these scenarios.
So, let’s learn how to do that.
What Is A Pick-Up Artist?
Pick-up artists (PUAs) first came to mainstream consciousness following the release of Neil Strauss’ best-selling book ‘The Game’.
The PUAs in this book believed they had developed a secret formula to spark attraction. They wore wacky clothes, spoke in secret code and used canned routines based on NLP. Importantly, they saw women as ‘above’ them and believed they needed these clever tricks to even the playing field.
PUAs were mostly mocked or lambasted whenever covered by the media. And rightly so.
Many treated women as objects who would drop their panties following a series of lines and routines. PUA strategies often aimed to drag down a woman’s confidence too.
Thankfully, most modern dating coaches won’t feed you clever lines or psychological trickery any more. Instead, they’ll help you make lasting improvements to your personality so you become the type of guy women are attracted to.
How To Approach Women If You Have No Dating Experience
The dating advice published in ‘The Game’ is bizarre, convoluted and a bit silly. Still, it remains most men’s first exposure to the idea that you can improve your flirting skills with practice.
This is an important revelation, because the biggest reason why men don’t get enough dates is they don’t approach enough women.
Most men believe attractiveness is something you’re born with (or without). The majority of guys who spot an attractive woman assume she wouldn’t be interested, or tell themselves it would be inappropriate to talk to her. Perhaps this idea is so ingrained in their psyche that they don’t even consider starting a conversation (even though they’d love to date her).
If that’s you, here’s what I recommend you do TODAY:
- Find 10 women and give them a compliment.
- If they respond well, try and get to know them. (I like to use assumptions instead of questions.)
- Ask to swap contact details so you can arrange a date.
That’s it. No pick-up lines. No clever psychological routines. No harassment.
I predict you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the results. It’s now so rare for men to approach women like this, you’ll stand out for being courageous enough to do it.
The #1 reason this doesn’t work is because a man is too nervous.
Shy men either approach so timidly that women breeze straight by them, or they’re so nervous that it makes women anxious. Running out of things to say is a common symptom of romantic nerves too.
The good news: you’ll become far less nervous, the more you try it.
That’s why I recommend you try and meet 10 women in one day. Once you’ve got your first few approaches out the way, you’ll realise it’s not so bad and your ability to not give a f*ck will skyrocket. Try approaching 100 women in a month and your approach anxiety could completely evaporate.
I have a free e-book titled How To Conquer Social Anxiety which includes more tips to help you.
Here’s An Example To Inspire You…
Pick-up artists are heavily criticized and sometimes cancelled for approaching a lot of women in one day.
Yet, dateless college student Samuel In made a viral YouTube video where he asked 100 women for a date and the public reaction was universally positive.
The difference between this guy and a pick-up artist? Samuel treats women with respect and sees them as individuals. He is honest and vulnerable about his social anxiety too, which definitely helps endear him to the audience.
This self-proclaimed ‘Shy Passive Asian Male’ managed a 19% success rate with his challenge. More importantly, he overcame his shyness and learned that talking to women isn’t so terrifying after all. A lesson that will benefit him for the rest of his life.
If he can do it, why can’t you?
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Manny Moreno on Unsplash