Every time I read about a young entrepreneur’s startup exploding into literal gold buckets, I close the tab. Half a million views on your new article? Don’t want to hear it. All you guys care about is money and status. Huh! Workaholics.
Secretly, they’re exactly who I strive to be. But being blinded by my fears, it’s difficult to see their success for what it is — results from hard work.
Envy only leads to more insecurities
If you can’t honestly support and be happy for others’ success, you will block your own blessings because eventually envy and bitterness will consume you.
-Germany Kent
My cousin is the golden child of the family. Coming from dirt, he has become a doctor in a big city in China, on the verge of being promoted as one of his hospital’s youngest heads. A rarity. Now married with a beautiful daughter, he’s the model in the family. My mom would be glad for me to be 50% of what he is.
I should’ve congratulated his promotion but instead dismissed this accomplishment. I’m too afraid to accept how much better he is than me, too petty to see that he’s put in 100 times the work, 1000 times the hours compared to me. He deserves what he’s earned. And I should be proud to have a family member like him.
When we’re jealous, especially towards someone we love, we make ourselves angrier, smaller.
Celebrating someone’s success doesn’t reduce yours
We’ve been plagued with a scarcity mentality, thinking happiness is a pie, the more someone else has, the less we get.
Your co-worker gets the promotion ahead of you, but there will be more opportunities, more companies. Your friend dates the girl you like, there will be more women out there, so many that you can’t even handle. Your competition gets most of the sales, fans, popularity. You will get your turn. Keep working. Learn from them.
Someone having more doesn’t mean you are having less.
What’s yours will be yours.
You receive generosity by first giving it
You get what you give. It’s a basic principle of the universe.
Hating someone’s happiness will generate the same emotions in others when you’re on top. By congratulating people on their good fortune, they’ll see you as a grateful person and reciprocate.
Lifting others is lifting ourselves
How we feel about others is how we feel about ourselves.
I feel bigger as a person by doing something as simple as telling someone, “You’re killing it man, keep it up!” or “So good to see you finally getting what you deserve, wish you the best of luck!”
See, giving people value makes you feel like a person of value.
I realized that resenting the happiness of another person put me in a dark corner. But when I started being receptive or glad for their joy, it took away the power that their success has over me because I no longer allow their superiority to threaten my self-esteem. Appreciation not only shined light upon them but on myself as well.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Jude Beck on Unsplash